Hire Jim Essian

Because Tony Womack was the starting shortstop on the World Champion 2001 Diamondbacks, it's sometimes easy to forget how terrible he actually was in his 13 seasons as a Major League Baseball player. It's probably far easier to forget how terrible he was if you're a Cubs fan. After all, when Womack wasn't busy killing the Cubs from ... Read More

Maybe I'm just annoyed with how the weekend series has gone so far. Maybe it's because it seems like Todd Helton hits .800 against the Cubs. Maybe it's because such piles of shit as Neifi Perez, Aaron Miles, Shawn Estes, and Dusty Baker have associations with NL West teams. Maybe it's because of the outcome of the ... Read More

Why is Kermit lying again? Click HERE to find out. In game two of the Diamondbacks' three-game series at Wrigley Field, Cubs fans booed former Cub and current Diamondbacks' announcer Mark Grace for failing to get out of the fourth inning. A confused Gordon Wittenmyer desperately tried to accuse Cubs fans of being racist, finally uncovering Mark Grace's Native ... Read More

I'm going to guess that this is going to incense some of you. Others are going to read it, pull a Bob Sugar, and say, "Finally, someone said it!" Some of you will question my baseball acumen. Others will say, "Hey, maybe Kermit wears a diaper for a reason other than his stupidity." But I think ... Read More

Every time I do my stomach the disservice of reliving the Cubs' three-game sweep at the hands of the mighty, mighty 84-78 Dodgers, one word keeps floating to the surface of bile in my throat. Pathetic. Just pathetic. The Cubs aren't a kicked dog. At least a kicked dog has a chance of putting up a fight. They're a ... Read More

Kermit is going out of town tonight and staying out of town until Monday, so the whole HJE gang is allowed take a breather if they want to. I can't speak for Mike D., but I'm going to take advantage of it. But I wouldn't dare leave you idiots without anything to read this week, so I'm doing ... Read More