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The worst part of the 2007 playoffs was not the Cubs getting meekly swept in three games by the Arizona Diamondbacks. It wasn't Carlos Marmol spitting the bit in the 7th inning of Game One. It wasn't Ted Lilly slamming his glove to the ground in frustration after serving up a go-ahead, three-run bomb to Chris Young in Game Two. It wasn't even Mark DeRosa grounding into a double play with a 3-1 count, two men on, and the Cubs trailing by two in the 5th inning. No, the most infuriating part of the 2007 playoffs was watching Jose Valverde dancing and preening off the mound at the end of Game One, Game Two, and Game Three. That is why Jose Valverde is the 9th-biggest Cub Killer of My Time.

The early-2000s Milwaukee Brewers teams were absolutely terrible. From 2000-2003, the Brewers went 265-383, with a 106-loss season thrown into the mix. That is an abysmal .409 winning percentage. If you're a Cubs fan, and that surprises you, it's because the Brewers managed to go 32-31 against the Chicago Cubs during that same time period. In fact, the only team against whom the Brewers performed better was the Cincinnati Reds, against whom they went 34-32. The Brewers dominated Wrigley Field, winning 18 of 33 games on the road. They were the team version of a Cub killer in the early 2000s. Much of that anomalous record against the Cubs could be attributed to one man. One enormous, spindly, hideous tree of a man. The 12th-biggest Cub Killer of My Time. Richie Sexson.

A funny thing happens when one includes active players on a list of Cub-killing baseball players that takes over four and a half years to complete. Statistics CHANGE. So, when I compiled the T79 and started it way back on- June 24, 2007? Holy shit. Anyhow, Xavier Nady was a reasonable choice back then. There were guys higher up on the T79 whose statistics changed, and whom I was able to swap in and out of the lineup. Ryan Theriot comes to mind. But now that I'm at the top 20, I think I have to grin, bear, and just go for it. On my sealed master list of T79ers, buried in a vault beneath the McDonald's parking lot across from Wrigley Field, I made myself just one note: "absurd OPS vs. Cubs." It's no longer absurd, but my sheer stubborn will causes Xavier Nady to stay at #14 on the list of the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time.

There was a time not so long ago when Adam Dunn was a legitimate threat to use a baseball bat to make contact with a baseball. A simpler time, when Dunn was a National League player forced to run around uncomfortably in the infield or outfield with a glove on his hand. A time when Dunn would positively VORP your face off, even as radio callers would complain about his copious strikeouts and "three possible outcomes" approach to hitting. It was in this far simpler time that the man who would become the 19th-biggest Cub Killer of My Time was born.

Way back in 2002, the Cincinnati Reds revealed a slugger who was supposed to be Sosa- McGwire- and Bonds-esque in his ability to hit home runs. Despite his inability to draw walks, catch and throw a baseball, or either spell or pronounce the name "Willy," Wily Mo Pena was going to team up with Austin Kearns and Adam Dunn ... Read More

Before Angel Guzman was around to tempt Cubs fans with his seemingly-limitless potential and seemingly-glass musculoskeletal structure, a skinny kid from the Dominican Republic rocketed through the Cubs' minor league system. By the time he was 21 years old, Juan Cruz looked and pitched like an old wise man. Cruz teased Cubs fans in the spring with his ... Read More

For much of the mid-2000s, the Milwaukee Brewers' rotation consisted of Ben Sheets and four indistinguishable jackasses who couldn't throw fastballs hard enough to break water and had an aggressive affinity at alliteration. I'm not one for ridiculous conspiracies, but there is absolutely no reason to believe that Dave Bush, Doug Davis, Gary Glover, and Chris Capuano are not ... Read More

Now that some of the Blackhawks hysteria has worn off, it's time to focus on America's pastime. THE WORLD CUP! Unless you'd rather be watching Ryan Theriot lead off, you should probably get on the soccer bandwagon. USA! USA! USA! Your blue-blooded American tips can be sent here. Some of those tips end ... Read More

Oh, what the 2001 Cubs season might have been if the Cubs hadn't allowed outfielder Luis Gonzalez to walk at the end of the 1996 season. Sosa wouldn't have had to single-handedly attempt to carry the Cubs into the playoffs. Gonzalez's 57-home run, 142-RBI season would have paired nicely with Sosa's unbelievable campaign. But, alas, the Cub ... Read More

One of the difficulties of taking so long to finish writing the list of the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time is that the list includes many active players. Some of them completely dominated the Cubs when I first wrote the list. For example, Zach Duke, of all people, was a top-ten Cub killer when the list ... Read More