Hire Jim Essian

Well, it's still Jim Hendry day, and old Jim made a few good moves during his time. No question, however, the two best moves he made were (1) trading Bobby Hill, Matt (hee hee!) Bruback, and Jose Hernandez to the Pittsburgh Pirates for Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton; and (2) trading Hee Seop Choi to the Florida Marlins for ... Read More

So, I was up in Wisconsin killing time, animals, and brain cells when I heard the news that Carlos Zambrano had retired. Or not retired. Or was just sick of the Cubs. Or giving up home runs. Now, the Cubs have put Zambrano on the disqualified list, and the Cub with the longest uninterrupted tenure on ... Read More

So it was prophesied that in the fourth month of the 2011th year, there would be much wailing, renting of garments, and gnashing of teeth of the loss of the tiny little soul of Sam Fuld. Is there any doubt that the same people crying that Sam Fuld is no longer in Chicago would be the same people complaining ... Read More

Everyone who has watched Carlos Silva pitch or eat has gotten sick to his stomach. The pitching part continued today, as Silva gave up eight runs in the third inning to the Angels. Presumably, Aramis Ramirez just stood over at third base and laughed his ass off. For a franchise that didn't have any qualms about throwing actual, productive ... Read More

HT to Ned Ryerson for pointing this out to me. Because- you know. I don't actually watch baseball. Apparently everyone's most-hated Cub, Carlos Silva, had a little scuffle with most intelligent fans' most-loved Cub, Aramis Ramirez. Because everyone is mad. About four games. Of Spring Training. Mike Quade claims it's no big deal and that ... Read More

Let it never again be said that the Muskbox doesn't hold the Cubs accountable. That it's just a bunch of corporate answers to silly questions from simpletons who will purchase tickets no matter how stupid the package, and no matter how bad the team. Why, just this week in the Muskbox, Rudolpho Jaramillo is taken to task by ... Read More

With all of the blogosphere arguing whether the Matt Garza trade was good or bad, one would assume that this week's Muskbox would at least address Garza in some way. And one would be right. You get a week off from questions regarding the start time of a very specific event in the Cub Convention. Instead, you ... Read More

Leave it to the Muskbox to consistently answer the questions that you never knew you had. The questions that, were you a detective, you would need a search warrant to find. Because they would be written over and over again in the horrifying journals of the madman you've spent the better part of your life hunting. Questions ... Read More

If Mike Quade wanted to endear himself to Cubs fans, perhaps he should have avoided using the same unoriginal rallying cry that the infuriating Dusty Baker used during the 2003 season. "Why not us?" asked Quade at his introductory press conference. Well, Mike, I think I can take a crack at that. You don't have a first ... Read More

I don't know if it's intentional or not, but I think Carrie is trying to hide the Muskbox from me. It's come out on Thursdays the past few times. You know the Weekly BROWSing happens on Friday, Carrie, you clever minx. Conspiracies aside, This week's Muskbox sics the DEA on Jim Hendry and Ryne Sandberg, continues Starling Castro's NL ... Read More