Angel Guzman

The Muskbox is Taking Stock of the Bullpen; Prognosis NEGATIVE 3

The always-informative Muskbox is back after a busy end to Spring Training. Since Carrie hasn’t had to write up many Cub wins so far, she’s been busily answering your most probing questions. You’re about to get probed by the Muskbox. MIND PROBED.

Intelligent Moves BAFFLE the Muskbox Readers 5

After a week of mediocrity in the Muskbox, the dummies are back out in full force. As I have long feared, Muskbox Nation still has no idea that Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer are trying to build a franchise capable of long-term, sustained success. The Muskboxers want to WIN NOW, and will accept nothing less than a first-place finish in the National League Central. Theo might want to avoid the Cub Convention this weekend entirely if he doesn’t want to have to answer questions like, “HOW COME ANGEL GUZMAN ISN’T INVOLVED IN THE LONG-TERM PLANS?”

The Elusive Muskbox Emerges from Its Two-Month Hibernation 3

The Muskbox hasn’t made an appearances since May 23. That’s a long time for a lot of stupid questions to go unanswered. But this will be an interesting experiment. Will two months be enough time to fill a Muskbox with a handful of actual, good questions? Assuming the Muskbox receives […]

The only thing this mask cannot my love.

The Muskbox FINALLY Addresses All of Your Burning Questions About…Scott Moore 3

Of all the obscure former Cubs who were once traded for Kyle Farnsworth and Steve Trachsel, and who you didn’t even realize were reacquired by the Cubs, Scott Moore is that specific one. And he’s actually the subject of a question in this week’s Muskbox. Scott. Moore. I’m stunned the […]

Uncle Mike’s Friday BROWSing: The “Please Stop Using Ry-NO Jokes” Edition 1

It is with unbearable sadness that I inform you that Ryne Sandberg will not be in a Cub uniform next year. Let’s take a moment of si- All right, Roundup time. The assistance of your tips is like a brilliant bench coach who offers the insight that Ryno may or […]

Maybe we should just give him a job.

The Muskbox DEMANDS Recognition for Castro 10

The Muskbox must be in late-season crunch mode. It appears that all of your stupid questions will be answered in the order in which they are received. If you would just please form an orderly line behind the man in the mask, Carrie will field each question in turn, starting […]

The Muskbox Returneth to the Relevance It’s Always Enjoyed 13

There’s no slumpbuster like a Muskbox slumpbuster. Thanks to the idiocy of people who read and the continued nightmare that is the 2010 edition of the Chicago Cubs, the Muskbox continues to shine. In this week’s Muskbox, a guy from Valparaiso asks about a player from Valparaiso, an Iowan […]

NOW Can Tommy Boy Finally Evaluate Jim Hendry? 32

If there’s one sports radio refrain that annoys me, it’s, “Tom Ricketts is being SO SMART AND CAREFUL about his evaluation of Jim Hendry.” Bullshit. The Cubs are now halfway through their first season under Ricketts’ ownership. They’re 39-50, with the third-highest payroll in all of Major League Baseball. The […]

A Double Shot of Muskbox 15

I didn’t get around to the Muskbox last week because of the emotional and mental toll from ripping Milton Bradley. I could- nay, should allow myself a break from the Muskbox madness. But that wouldn’t be fair to you. Instead, you get a double shot of Muskbox with a chaser […]

The Muskbox Has No Idea When to Fuld ‘Em 9

Has any player ever gotten more mileage out of a single catch than Sam Fuld has? I’ve heard Cubs fans speak less respectfully of Wilie Mays’ catch. Sam Fuld strives to be David Eckstein, only in a less-useful position. However, since Jim Hendry decided to spend $34M on an outfield […]