Hire Jim Essian

Growing up as a pure left-handed baseball player, my options on the field were limited. I was primarily a first baseman, though I did have my fair share of opportunities in the outfield and one ill-advised stint behind home plate (Why do they even SELL left-handed catcher's mitts?). I've come to accept the fact that there are really only five positions on a baseball diamond for left-handers. The latest Muskbox has not yet accepted the same fact. Even more amazingly, someone finally asks a good question, and it's followed up with NO ANSWER. Muskbox, away!

This week's Muskbox sadly came out just before Ryan Theriot was traded to the Cardinals, natural enemies of the Cub. But that's okay. I suspect that next week's Muskbox is going to be absolutely epic in its garment-rending. But fisking duty calls. Marlon Byrd was awesome in center field this year. Did he get any votes for a ... Read More

This week's Muskbox answers all of your late-season questions. But who will answer MY late-season questions, such as, "Why the hell does anyone have late-season questions?" Or, "When does the late season mercifully transmogrify into the offseason?" Muskbox AWAY! Reading one of your blog posts about salaries, you said... I'm going to stop you right there. Your dangling ... Read More

So, Mike Quade is off to a pretty good start as interim manager. He's won three games in a row and swept the mighty Nationals. Wow! I'm sooooooo impressed. What were the Nationals? 53-71 going into Monday night's game? And they had to face whom? Livan Hernandez? Hell, that guy was practically ... Read More

There's no slumpbuster like a Muskbox slumpbuster. Thanks to the idiocy of people who read Cubs.com and the continued nightmare that is the 2010 edition of the Chicago Cubs, the Muskbox continues to shine. In this week's Muskbox, a guy from Valparaiso asks about a player from Valparaiso, an Iowan is sick of watching Darwin Barney play in ... Read More

Good afternoon, Cubs fans! We take a brief break from HJE's active campaign for me to be the Chicago Cubs' next manager to look back on one of the highlights of the Jim Essian era. It's the 19th anniversary of my win over Lou Piniella and his Cincinnati Reds that I chronicled well enough for you three years ago. Today's even ... Read More

You're so predictable, Cubs fans. More predictable than the Cubs losing the first two games of every single series. More predictable than Randy Wells getting lit up in the first inning. More predictable than Ryan Theriot swinging at a first pitch. The five people who are still watching Cub baseball all wrote in to the Muskbox ... Read More

It has finally happened. After reading the dumbest of the dumb questions submitted by Cubs fans to the Muskbox, her brain has finally snapped in twain. And now, they're coming to take her away to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and she'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean ... Read More

If you were too busy listening to that mutant Mark McGwire cry about how nobody understands what it's like to make millions of dollars by drowning oneself in a sea of steroids, you missed some big Cubs news. In what will likely be the best move the Cubs have made since Jim Hendry used the pen from his doctor's ... Read More

No matter which cap he ends up wearing on his plaque, Andre Dawson will be the next Cub enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame. If you're like me, his induction might get you thinking about tonight's Friday Night Fukudome. VS. Ron Santo Sammy Sosa ... Read More