• Home
  • HJE Shoutbox
  • Archives
  • The B126
  • The T79
  • HJE Shop
  • Testimonials
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact HJE
Hire Jim Essian

Hire Jim Essian

You are here : Hire Jim Essian » Tag for Alfonso Soriano

My Favorite Muskbox

Posted On 24 Jan 2012 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Muskbox.
My Favorite Muskbox If the Muskbox is a competition, someone has finally won it. The prize? Free dinner with Carrie! The losers all won free breakfast with Carrie. In all my years of fisking the Muskbox, I have finally arrived at not only the dumbest question ever asked, but also a response so silent regarding the stupidity, that it echoes throughout the ages. I hope you're seated for this week's Muskbox, because who the hell stands at a desk, anyhow? Dwight Schrute?

The Muskbox will Watch Aramis’s Jersey BURN

Posted On 12 Dec 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Ex-Cubs, Muskbox, NL Central.
The Muskbox will Watch Aramis’s Jersey BURN I suspect that there will be a significant number of Cubs fans as pissed about Aramis Ramirez signing with the Brewers as some Cardinals fans were about Albert Pujols signing with the Angels. I suspect that because I'm not a dumbass, and I know there are stupid fans of every single professional team in sports. Unlike Mark DeRosa and Ryan Theriot, Aramis Ramirez deserves and should get a standing ovation the first time he returns to Wrigley Field in a Brewers jersey. Sadly, he'll probably be booed. Don't be those fans.

The Muskbox is the Belle of the Deep South Questionball!

Posted On 01 Dec 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Muskbox.
The Muskbox is the Belle of the Deep South Questionball! When we last left The Muskbox, she was busy scoffing at the mere SUGGESTION of a Jumbo-Tron and weighing the Cubs' options for manager. A lot has happened since those simple days nearly a month ago. The Cubs hired Dale Sveum, Greg Maddux took his talents south, and you ate a bunch of turkey, drank some cognac, and punched your uncle. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN THANKSGIVING EVERY YEAR? Perhaps Greg's departure to Texas caused something in Carrie to snap, because in this week's Muskbox, she gets weirdly southern. READ ON, Y'ALL!

Wrap Up Epstein Week. Rosenbloom Says the Honeymoon’s Over

Posted On 27 Oct 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs.
Wrap Up Epstein Week. Rosenbloom Says the Honeymoon’s Over As Theo Epstein Week continues, two things have occurred: I feel absolutely terrible for Jed Hoyer. He's a damn good general manager. Has anyone seen HIM at Starbucks? Has anyone stalked HIM and said creepy things about how they've been waiting for him for 103 years? Has anyone introduced HIM to Ronnie Woo-Woo? Steve Rosenbloom has declared the ... Read More

The Muskbox CATCHES HELL!

Posted On 10 Oct 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs, Muskbox.
The Muskbox CATCHES HELL! I haven't had the opportunity to watch Catching Hell, the horrible documentary on Steve Bartman. I feel obligated to do so, despite the fact that I've seen the infamous play more times than I've seen The Big Lebowski. Which is to say, a lot of times. Bartman has been through a lot, which is why it was ... Read More

The 2011 Cubs Season in Review. Horrible, Horrible Review.

Posted On 29 Sep 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Cubs.
The 2011 Cubs Season in Review.  Horrible, Horrible Review. The 2011 season ground to a merciful halt yesterday. In a beautiful display of symmetry, it ended much the same way it started, with Ryan Dempster walking everyone in the park, serving up a grand slam, and losing to a shitty team. In case you missed the past six months of baseball, the Cubs didn't make the playoffs ... Read More

The Case for Firing Local Boob Gordon Wittenmyer

Posted On 21 Jul 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs.
The Case for Firing Local Boob Gordon Wittenmyer I'm going to get around to posting the Photoshops from the other day. I'm also going to get around to the next entry on the T79. But occasionally there comes along an article so stupid, that it must immediately be addressed. Five times out of ten, that article is written by Phil Rogers. But the other ... Read More

The Muskbox Answers Fewer Questions Than the Final Season of Lost

Posted On 10 May 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs, Muskbox.
The Muskbox Answers Fewer Questions Than the Final Season of Lost I know you're already anticipating next week's Muskbox, when someone from Terrae Haute suggests that the Cubs take a flyer on Milton Bradley and start him at first base over Pena. Sadly, you and I still have to get through this week's Muskbox, however. But, because we're Americans, we get up, we read our Muskbox even though we ... Read More

Shockingly, the Muskbox Laments the Departure of SAM FULD!

Posted On 28 Apr 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs, Ex-Cubs, Muskbox.
Shockingly, the Muskbox Laments the Departure of SAM FULD! So it was prophesied that in the fourth month of the 2011th year, there would be much wailing, renting of garments, and gnashing of teeth of the loss of the tiny little soul of Sam Fuld. Is there any doubt that the same people crying that Sam Fuld is no longer in Chicago would be the same people complaining ... Read More

The Muskbox Demands that Jaramillo LOOK IN A MIRROR!

Posted On 09 Feb 2011 By Bad Kermit. Under: Broadcasters & Journalists, Cubs, Muskbox.
The Muskbox Demands that Jaramillo LOOK IN A MIRROR! Let it never again be said that the Muskbox doesn't hold the Cubs accountable. That it's just a bunch of corporate answers to silly questions from simpletons who will purchase tickets no matter how stupid the package, and no matter how bad the team. Why, just this week in the Muskbox, Rudolpho Jaramillo is taken to task by ... Read More
Older Entries «
  • Advertisements
  • Follow hirejimessian On Twitter
    Check Out What I'm Doing Below:
  • RSS RSS Feed
    • Friday Roundup: The “George Lucas Has Fewer Dimensions Than His Films” Edition
    • WGN Radio 720 Loves Baseball Fun Cubbies Earrhea
    • The Muskbox Wants to See Dat Geovany Soto Ass
    • The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #7: “You Can Call Me” A. “Or You Can Call Me” J. Pierzynski
    • Friday Roundup: The “Super Bowl Sucks” Edition
  • The 2012 nut-punch begins in
    1 month and 22 days
    100% done
  • Hot Topics
    • Barrett to Puck the Fadres
      178 comments received
    • You Gone, White Sox
      130 comments received
    • Winter Meetings Preview
      124 comments received
    • Meet the Mets; Their Writers Suck, Too
      119 comments received
    • #10: "You Make Me" Juan "to Puke" Pierre
      97 comments received
  • Recent Comments
    • Sweet Lou
      Sweet Lou Says: While not an official WGN song don't forget the Cu...
    • FrankS
      FrankS Says: Colin Wyers, who wrote a Cubs blog called The Othe...
    • Moon
      Moon Says: I'm giggling like a little girl at Literally Unbel...
    • Moon
      Moon Says: Hee hee....
    • Bad Kermit
      Bad Kermit Says: I don't think it was an official song at any point...
  • Categories
  • HJE Archive
  • Cubs Sites
    • Chuck to Chuck
    • Cubs F/X
    • Desipio
    • Fire Jim Essian
    • Surviving the Cubs
    • The Other Fifteen Percent
  • NL Central Blogs
    • Cardinals Diaspora
    • Crawfish Boxes
    • Fire Dusty Baker
    • Red Reporter
    • Right Field Bleachers
    • Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke?
  • Other Baseball Sites
    • Baseball-Reference
    • Bugs & Cranks
    • Fire Joe Morgan (R.I.P.)
    • Fisted Foul
    • Razzball
    • Sully Baseball
  • Other Sites
    • Exile on Clark
    • Heather Essian
    • Her Loyal Sons
    • Hockee Night
    • Slak's Index
    • Start Kyle Orton
    • TJBrown's Blog
  • Meta
    • Log in
    • Entries RSS
    • Comments RSS
    • WordPress.org
DarkHive WordPress Theme By MagPress
Thanks To NHS Hospital Jobs | NHS Nurse Training | NHS Jobs London
Copyright © 2012 Hire Jim Essian All Rights Reserved.