Hire Jim Essian

This afternoon Pre brought to my attention a little bit of oddness from Yahoo. In a post regarding the potential of a Matt Garza trade to the Cubs, "Louis" had some unkind words for Jim Hendry. I have said it before and I will say it again... Until Jim Hendry is fired and a real gm is hired the cubs ... Read More

Oh, happy day! It's Crosstown Classic weekend! The weekend where two teams headed nowhere square off against one another and try to prove who cares less about playing one another. The answer? You fans. Also, me. I've been dealing with just the tips for the past two weeks, so we have some catching up ... Read More

Three games into the season, and the only guy in the starting lineup who doesn't have a hit is our leadoff "hitter." Do you hear those footsteps, Ryan Theriot? No, they're not Starlin Castro's. They're mine. I'm running down the hallway to the clubhouse to kick your ass. Your Roundup tips are always read and ... Read More

Sigh. I leave you guys for one week, and all hell breaks loose around here. Can't you nerds just realize that you're all nerds and embrace one another at the next Star Trek convention? Or do MORE than hug? Look, for a bunch of people who root for a team that hasn't done dick in a ... Read More

Well, well, well. The two greatest baseball players in Chicago history are finally united in San Francisco. The Giants' signing of Mark DeRosa unites the stubbly heartthrob with Aaron Rowand, who made ladies swoon over the "run face-first into a wall" move before Reed Johnson thought of it. Thus, the 2010 Giants became an unstoppable juggernaut. ... Read More

The last time we saw our good friend Hitler, he was upset about Kosuke Fukudome, was missing Sammy Sosa, and was looking forward to a 2009 season filled with Kerry Wood saves. The 2009 Winter Meetings begin today in Indianapolis, and Hitler just found out about them. What will happen when Hitler learns what has transpired with the ... Read More

Every time I want to punch Jim Hendry in the fleshiest part of his neck, he has an offseason like this one, in which he has unloaded both terrible Aarons. There's only one thing to do when you're all out of Aarons. Put them in the Fukudome on their way out! At first blush, this might seem ... Read More

As our good friend Paul Sullivan pointed out in his Twitter feed, we're finally down an Aaron (Heilman), and have only Miles left to purge. (HT: Luis) If I didn't think Jim Hendry was going to trade Aramis, Marmol, Lee, Zambrano, and Lilly for Curtis Granderson, I might actually pat him on his pasty white back. As ... Read More

Joe Girardi has always been a weird-looking dude. But until the folks at Halos Heaven pointed it out, I didn't realize how much he looks like Skeletor. Apparently, he used whatever the opposite of power of Greyskull is (the power of Snake Mountain?) on his way home from winning the World Series to assist a woman who had ... Read More

The firing of hitting coach Von Joshua was the latest in a series of pointless moves by Jim Hendry this season. For those of you still interested in discussing the 2009 Cubs, here's a topic of conversation for you. Are there any pointless moves I missed? ... Read More