Bob Scanlan is the first selection to the Best Bad Cubs Team of My Time to have played under this site’s namesake. Other than that fact and a couple of stories to follow, Scanlan is almost entirely forgettable. But for a few shining moments in the early 1990s as a Cub, he was slightly better than bad enough to earn a bullpen spot on this motley crew.
Brooks Kieschnick was a novelty. Step right up and see the amazing pitcher who hits! Or if that don’t tickle your fancy, come see the freakish hitter who pitches! Kieschnick was like Carlos Zambrano, but not as good at pitching. Or like Doug Dascenzo, but not as good at hitting. He was a slightly better pitcher than a hitter, so GUESS HOW THE CUBS USED HIM. Nevertheless, Kieschnick’s ability to be not-quite-terrible at two positions earns him a spot in the bullpen on the Best Bad Cubs Team of My Time.
Every bullpen needs a good long relief man. Even good-bad bullpens like this one. Former Cub Terry Mulholland (1997-1999) fits the bill perfectly. I remember a solid stretch of quality Mulholland appearances in the late ’90s, one of the Cubs beat writers wrote something along the lines of, “If you want to see an honest-to-goodness quality left-handed pitcher in a Cub uniform, come out and watch Mulholland pitch.”
Hello, bored night shifters! Allow me to entertain you between grave digging, museum guarding, and donut making. Oh, who am I kidding? NONE of us will sleep tonight after hearing the news that the Cubs have signed Kris Bryant.
This week’s Muskbox is filled with wonderful Cub fan stereotypes. There’s the fan arguing which bad catcher is less bad. There’s the guy obsessed with speed over all else. There’s a 500-pound monster. It’s not the Muskbox we want. It’s the Muskbox we need.
Well, the internet got what it wanted. At least what the most-vocal members wanted. Microsoft reversed the majority of the restrictions that were going to be imposed on the Xbox One at the cost of some actual, pretty cool features. However, there are new rumors floating around that the awesome-sounding “family share” feature was utter bullshit. Allegedly, you could loan a game to one of ten “family members”, but they would only have access to the game for an hour. That’s not game lending. That’s a glorified demo. To my knowledge, the rumors aren’t confirmed. However, if the family share feature worked the way we assumed it worked, wouldn’t MS have been screaming it from the rafters at E3? If that’s the case, it sounds like the lifting of restrictions was a huge win for everyone.
It’s been a while, roundup reader(s). The Cubs are still bad, still unrecognizable, and still slightly more watchable than last season. They fell behind the Brewers, Travis Wood can’t buy wins, and Kevin Gregg is the best reliever in the world. What a weird game baseball is. Your tips are as appreciated as sports glasses […]
If you’re still waiting on me to post about the podcast here instead of on Twitter or on whatever podcast listening program you use, you got issues, kid. This is a doozy. We talk about every draft pick, every movie ever made, and every video game in existence. If you stick with us until the end, you’re a better person than I am.
It might be a good time to say your fond farewell to former Cub and B126 President-for-Life, Milton Bradley. The sociopath was convicted today of NINE counts of attacking and threatening his wife. The judge set bail at $250K, and he’ll be sentenced on July 2nd. He could get over seven years behind bars. Having never been to prison and basing much of my knowledge about it on TV and movies, I suspect guys like Milton break one of two ways. Either NO TOUCHING by his other inmates for fear of being disemboweled by his bare hands, or he’s going to say some really stupid racial shit, and White Power Bill is going to murder-fuck him. I wish I could tell you Milton fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that. But prison is no fairy-tale world.
I had not been to a Cubs-Sox game since Cub Killer Jose Valentin hit a walkoff home run off even bigger Cub Killer Antonio Alfonseca TEN YEARS ago. Good lord, we’re all old now. Almost a decade later, I found myself back in U.S. Cellular Field last night.