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ORLANDO--Jim Hendry, moments after undergoing an angioplasty after suffering flu-like symptoms at baseball's annual winter meetings, inked himself to a four-year, $62M contract from his own hospital bed. Hendry projects to be the number three starter in the Cubs' 2007 rotation, moving up to number two as soon as new Cub Ted Lilly goes down with a season-ending injury ... Read More

CHICAGO--On Wednesday, the Chicago Cubs signed free agent left hander Ted Lilly to a four-year, $40M contract.� Today, "FLP!" learned that Cubs manager Lou Piniella has spent the last two days preparing jokes about Lilly to, "...get under his skin, and show him who's the f@#$ing boss around here," according to Piniella. "I have some great ones written already," Piniella said, ... Read More

ORLANDO--Cubs are flying everywhere, and I don't currently have time to write sarcastic stories about all of them. I promise I will soon. To catch you up: Ted Lilly is a Cub at 4 years, $40M. The Cubs actually outbid the Yankees for a free agent for the first time in MLB history. Daryl Ward is a Cub at ... Read More

CHICAGO--The Chicago Cubs named Hall of Fame second baseman Ryne Sandberg the new manager of the Cubs' Class A Peoria Chiefs. Upon hearing the news, Sandberg's ex-wife Cindy White traveled to Peoria and rented an upscale condominium with a rotating bed and mirrors on the ceilings. Sandberg at his Hall of Fame induction. Sandberg takes over for former Cub catcher Jody ... Read More

CINCINNATI--The Cincinnati Reds are suspicious that Gary Majewski, a reliever whom they received from the Washington Nationals last season in a trade for Austin Kearns and Felipe Lopez, was injured when he was sent to the Reds. In response, the Reds plan to file a grievance with Major League Baseball about the trade. Jim Hendry, having caught wind of the ... Read More

ORLANDO--It is only the first day of the annual winter meetings of the Major League Baseball general managers, and things are already heating up like the hot plate Cubs G.M. Jim Hendry keeps at the foot of his bed. No, not that one. That's a George Foreman. No, behind the mini fridge. To the left of ... Read More

CHICAGO--Cubs General Manager Jim Hendry does not want to take any unnecessary chances with his new leadoff hitter Alfonso Soriano. After introducing Soriano to the Chicago media yesterday, Hendry requested that Soriano not attend the Winter Ball this year. "I don't want Alfonso to get hurt while he's 'getting jiggy with it,' or 'riding the train,' or 'doing the Hump'," ... Read More

ST. LOUIS--Despite Ryan Howard's superior numbers, more pleasant demeanor, less pharmaceutically enhanced physique, and Howard's Phillies' better regular season record in a far more difficult NL East, Albert Pujols was up to his whining ways on Wednesday, crying about how the NL MVP should have gone to a player on a team that made the playoffs. Sources close ... Read More

CHICAGO--Chicago Cubs' G.M. Jim Hendry has offered San Francisco Giants righthander Jason Schmidt a three-year, $44M contract, according to the San Francisco Chronicle. "We haven't had Schmidt on our roster for a long time," Hendry said.� "I can't help but wonder what might have happened in 2003 if we had had just a little piece of Schmidt during the playoffs," Hendry ... Read More

CHICAGO--Having signed free agents Aramis Ramirez, Alfonso Soriano, and Mark DeRosa, yet having not yet addressed the Chicago Cubs' non-existent pitching rotation, Cubs G.M. Jim Hendry is expected to make a big splash on the pitching market, whether via free agency or a trade, at the winter meetings in Orlando, Florida. Hendry is also expected to make a big splash at ... Read More