#119: Chris “The Butcher” Stynes

Chris Stynes was impotent at the plate with the Cubs in 2002. Don’t get me wrong. But what led to more “Why the f@#$ is Chris Stynes playing third base?” moments was his glove. At least, I think he was wearing a glove. They wouldn’t have let him take the field without a glove, right? […]


BEARSSSSSSSS!

Yes, it’s a Cubs blog, but well done, Bears. Well done, indeed.


#120: Dan “Lazy Eyebrow” Plesac

Maybe I’m just jealous of Dan Plesac. I’m left handed. I have about as much muscle mass. He had an 18-year Major League career which he parlayed into a gig at Comcast as an analyst. I’m blogging about him. Yeah. Maybe jealousy is the case. Or maybe it’s his right eyebrow, which appears surprised during […]


#121: Robert “It’s Either Me, Hundley, or Girardi’s Corpse” Machado

Have you ever played the game “Do, Dump, or Marry?” It’s a game played in public when a friend chooses three random people out of a crowd. The player must pick one person to “do,” one to “dump,” and one to “marry.” It’s a stupid game. I only bring it up because it reminds me […]


#122: Julio “Doo-Doo” Zuleta

Did you guys catch the “Zoo-Doo” fever in the summer of 2000? I sure did. Cubs prospect Julio Zuleta looked like a guy who could hit, posting an impressive line in a small sample of at-bats in 2000. Plus, Zuleta was the closest thing to a real-life President Palmer Pedro Cerrano that we were going […]