Enrique Wilson. You sucked so badly in only 22 at-bats as a Cub that you pissed me off enough to be a part of this list.
You sucked so badly, that even New York’s answer to Mark Prior (Chicago’s Mr. Glass) knocked you on your ass.
Look at you.
Fooled you, fools. Also, I farted.
You look like you’re trying not to smile, because you fooled everyone into thinking you were an actual Major League Baseball player.
A team like the Yankees was able to keep you around because you hit Pedro Martinez well, Enrique, but the Cubs couldn’t afford having a guy like you on the roster. Particularly not with Johnny B. Baker managing the team. Putting you on a 25-man roster managed by Dusty is like leaving a sugar-coated gun next to a swingset next to a pool with no fence around it. And the pool is next door to a children’s rehabilitation center which specializes in trying to wean kids off of sugar-flavored guns.
Good Lord, Enrique. I can’t get over the fact that you were ever on a Cubs roster. Thank you for retiring before Jim Hendry had a chance to resign you for the 2006 season. Thank you.
Low Point: Honestly, Enrique, it has to be May 17, 2005, the day you signed with the Chicago Cubs. I remember hearing about the signing and thinking, “Has it really come to this?”
Did You Know? Had the Yankees won Game 7 of the 2001 World Series, Wilson would have departed to the Dominican Republic on the deadly American Airlines Flight 587. Yankees closer Mariano Rivera says that he is happy that he blew the save in game 7 because that way he still has a friend (Wilson). Looks like Darwin swung and missed just like you did so many times, Enrique. Thanks, Wikipedia.