The next time Cubs pitcher Mark Prior makes a start, it will be as a member of the Aqua Sox. Prior, who has been roughed up in his spring starts, has been sent down to make a minor league start on Friday. Prior met with his team on Tuesday, and […]
First of all, let me give a big “Thank you” to With Leather (and Domer MQ) for pointing this out. And now, for the “Fuck you”s. Fuck you, Sarah Spain, for using your chest to offset your broken nose and get free stuff. Fuck you, MTV, for inventing the show […]
What’s up, you Essian wanna-bes? Another day, another win for us, but I was afraid for a minute that this one would cost us. Big Z is all kinds of crazy, and he treated yesterday’s game like a f@#$ing track meet. Did you notice that the triple Z hit was […]
Poor Mitch Webster. He wasn’t terrible as a Cub. In fact, he had at least a mediocre career. Certainly not by numbers alone would he appear on the Bottom 126. Unfortunately for Mitch, he was on one of the few successful Cubs teams in recent history. The 1989 Cubs had […]
Folks, it’s time to pick an official banner for “HJE!” I have four potential designs put together (incredibly well) by a friend of mine. I have a personal favorite, but I’d like to get some input from you guys and gals. I would add a picture of Mr. Essian in […]
It took them long enough, but Baseball Reference has finally updated the page of the greatest man to ever put on the tools of ignorance Essian.
Whaddup, my bitches? It’s been a while. Too long, if you ask me. And if you’re not asking me, you’re getting the wrong answers. I hope you read Gordon Wittenmyer’s 6000 articles over the weekend. Not a goddamn one of them made any sense. This was me while giving the […]
It’s a Bottom 126 Monday two-fer! Hire Jim Essian! declares war on the Goodwin boys! Let’s do this alphabetically and chronologically, which just so happens is the same order. Curtis Goodwin They took 300 pictures, and this was the best shot they got. Curtis Goodwin was a Cub for 89 […]
Let me get this straight. Jason Dubois begat Jody Gerut who begat Matt Lawton who begat Justin Berg. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take Jason Dubois out behind a dumpster and shoot him? Jody Gerut was a Cub for exactly eleven games and fourteen at-bats in that wistful […]
TJ Brown, whose incredible idea gave birth to this very site, does a better job explaining the site than anyone but Jim Essian himself could do. Go have a look. It’s a great read.