Folks, it’s time to pick an official banner for “HJE!” I have four potential designs put together (incredibly well) by a friend of mine. I have a personal favorite, but I’d like to get some input from you guys and gals. I would add a picture of Mr. Essian in […]
It took them long enough, but Baseball Reference has finally updated the page of the greatest man to ever put on the tools of ignorance Essian.
Whaddup, my bitches? It’s been a while. Too long, if you ask me. And if you’re not asking me, you’re getting the wrong answers. I hope you read Gordon Wittenmyer’s 6000 articles over the weekend. Not a goddamn one of them made any sense. This was me while giving the […]
It’s a Bottom 126 Monday two-fer! Hire Jim Essian! declares war on the Goodwin boys! Let’s do this alphabetically and chronologically, which just so happens is the same order. Curtis Goodwin They took 300 pictures, and this was the best shot they got. Curtis Goodwin was a Cub for 89 […]
Let me get this straight. Jason Dubois begat Jody Gerut who begat Matt Lawton who begat Justin Berg. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take Jason Dubois out behind a dumpster and shoot him? Jody Gerut was a Cub for exactly eleven games and fourteen at-bats in that wistful […]
TJ Brown, whose incredible idea gave birth to this very site, does a better job explaining the site than anyone but Jim Essian himself could do. Go have a look. It’s a great read.
MESA, Ariz.–Cubs manager Lou Piniella hasn’t managed a baseball team in over a year, and it shows. Piniella has been turning to his bench coach Alan Trammell when it comes to all things baseball. And he has been turning to him often. “It’s been exhausting,” Trammell said. “I mean, I […]
MESA, Ariz.–On the surface, it would appear that new Cubs manager Lou Piniella is a more fond of young players than former manager Dusty Baker. Piniella said that both left-handed starter Rich Hill and infielder Ryan Theriot would go north after camp. Piniella showed less fondness for the city of […]
Remember Bizarro Superman? He was a total inversion of the real Superman. He was vulnerable to blue Kryptonite instead of green Kryptonite, and he’d always say the opposite of what he meant. Like if he said, “I’ll save you,” he really mean, “I’ll kill you.” Yeah. That’s like what Jim […]
In the year 1991, the Cubs were in dire need of a new manager after firing Don “Popeye” Zimmer. They needed a man of courage. A man of conviction. A man who could bridge the gap between Joe Altobelli and Jim Lefebvre. One man rose to that challenge. That man […]