BREAKING NEWS: Oh, for Fuck’s Sake! 28

First of all, let me give a big “Thank you” to With Leather (and Domer MQ) for pointing this out. And now, for the “Fuck you”s. Fuck you, Sarah Spain, for using your chest to offset your broken nose and get free stuff. Fuck you, MTV, for inventing the show […]

If you ignore her, she'll go away.

Get up, Z!  You still have a triple to leg out!

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: March 13, 2007 1

What’s up, you Essian wanna-bes? Another day, another win for us, but I was afraid for a minute that this one would cost us. Big Z is all kinds of crazy, and he treated yesterday’s game like a f@#$ing track meet. Did you notice that the triple Z hit was […]

#72: Mitch “I’d Rather Have Had the Kid From” Webster 7

Poor Mitch Webster. He wasn’t terrible as a Cub. In fact, he had at least a mediocre career. Certainly not by numbers alone would he appear on the Bottom 126. Unfortunately for Mitch, he was on one of the few successful Cubs teams in recent history. The 1989 Cubs had […]

Banner 4

A Banner Day 47

Folks, it’s time to pick an official banner for “HJE!” I have four potential designs put together (incredibly well) by a friend of mine. I have a personal favorite, but I’d like to get some input from you guys and gals. I would add a picture of Mr. Essian in […]

Ha ha ha!  The Franchise is going to AAA!

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Spring Training Diary: March 12, 2007 14

Whaddup, my bitches? It’s been a while. Too long, if you ask me. And if you’re not asking me, you’re getting the wrong answers. I hope you read Gordon Wittenmyer’s 6000 articles over the weekend. Not a goddamn one of them made any sense. This was me while giving the […]

#73: Curtis/Tom “Not Every Win is a” Goodwin 14

It’s a Bottom 126 Monday two-fer! Hire Jim Essian! declares war on the Goodwin boys! Let’s do this alphabetically and chronologically, which just so happens is the same order. Curtis Goodwin They took 300 pictures, and this was the best shot they got. Curtis Goodwin was a Cub for 89 […]

Tom Goodwin

#74: Joseph “Where. In the World. Is. Carmen San” Diego Gerut 14

Let me get this straight. Jason Dubois begat Jody Gerut who begat Matt Lawton who begat Justin Berg. Wouldn’t it have been easier to just take Jason Dubois out behind a dumpster and shoot him? Jody Gerut was a Cub for exactly eleven games and fourteen at-bats in that wistful […]

"I don't get it.  Why didn't anyone try to tag him?"

After Year Off, Piniella Baffled By Baseball Rules 2

MESA, Ariz.–Cubs manager Lou Piniella hasn’t managed a baseball team in over a year, and it shows. Piniella has been turning to his bench coach Alan Trammell when it comes to all things baseball. And he has been turning to him often. “It’s been exhausting,” Trammell said. “I mean, I […]