The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #63: Jose Luis Pimental “Patient” Vizcaino

Jose Vizcaino spent all but 121 games of his 18-season Major League career in the National League, much to the chagrin of the Chicago Cubs. Vizcaino spent the majority of his career, which included three seasons as a Cub, as a utility infielder. A generally light-hitting utility infielder (his most-similar batter according to Baseball-Reference is TITO FUENTES), Vizcaino magically flexed his muscle against the Cubs. Hence, the reason Jose Vizcaino checks in as the 63rd biggest Cub Killer of my Time.

The Los Angeles Dodgers drafted and signed the switch-hitting Vizcaino out of the Dominican Republic in the 1986 amateur draft. Vizcaino was a September call-up three years later, at the age of 21. After two years of brief Major League duty with the Dodgers, Vizcaino was swapped to the Cubs prior to the 1991 season for Greg Smith. Vizcaino spent an unspectacular three years with the Cubs, finishing his Cub career in 1993 by getting into 151 games as a second baseman, shortstop, and third baseman. You want to talk light-hitting? In 1993, Vizcaino collected 158 base hits. 131 of those hits were singles. That’s not light. That’s anorexic.

Prior to the 1994 season, the Cubs traded Vizcaino to the New York Mets for Anthony Young and Ottis Smith. They should have never let him go. I’m not saying they should have played him. That would have been silly. Oh, no. Really, not even to play him. They should have just locked him up to an absurdly lucrative 15-year deal and then sent him down to the minors for the remainder of his career. At least it would have prevented Vizcaino from ever having an at-bat against the Cubs.

Maybe it was the Rec Specs. Maybe it was the crappy Cub pitching of the 1990s. Maybe it was anger from Harry Caray’s over-pronunciation of his name: Ho-ZAY VIZ-ki-ee-no. The Cubs played the part of Vizcaino’s muse, as he was inspired to put up a career .297/.360/.413 line against the North Siders. Though those numbers aren’t sparkling, when you compare them with his career .270/.318/.346 averages, it’s clear that Vizcaino did some of his best work against your Chicago Cubs.

To add insult to injury, late in his career Vizcaino played for two of the Cubs’ fiercest NL Central opponents during their World Series years. In 2005, Vizcaino played in 98 games for the Houston Astros, only to watch his team get swept by the White Sox in the World Series until that postseason was canceled and everyone went home early.

In fact, in that World Series, Vizcaino is the one who made Scott Podsednik a Chicago folk hero. It was Vizcaino’s 2-run, 2-out pinch hit single (surprise, surprise) off Bobby Jenks in the 9th inning that tied Game Two at 6 and led to Podsednik’s walkoff home run in the bottom of that inning. It was pleasant watching that fairy float around the bases. Thanks, Jose.

In 2006, the Cardinals signed Vizcaino in late August after David Eckstein was called away from the team to a magical tree to bake cookies with all of his little friends. Vizcaino put up a .348/.375/.609 in 23 at-bats with the eventual World Series Champion Cardinals Shitbirds.

Your World Series shares in 2005 and 2006 are blood money, Jose. I hope you choke on it.

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Why You Should Hate Him: Remember when Mark Prior used to pitch for the Cubs? Remember when Scott Linebrink used to start? Remember when both of them faced off in an early 2003 match up at the Juice Box in Houston? If you remember all that, you might also remember that Vizcaino basically iced the game in the first damn inning. After the Cubs took an early lead on the strength of a first-inning Corey Patterson 2-run home run (during the half season of his career when he didn’t suck ass), the Astros roared back, sending 9 men to the plate and scoring 6 runs in the bottom of the inning, capped off by a first-pitch, three-run blast off the bat of the number seven hitter, Jose Vizcaino. The Astros would only score one more run during the game, and the Cubs would lose 7-5. Considering the Cubs and Astros were battling for first place in the NL Central until the very last weekend that year, it would have been in the Cubs’ best interest NOT to serve up gopher balls to four-eyed, banjo-hitting middle infielders.

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Did You Know? Vizcaino now works in the Dodger front office. Because Vizcaino goes with the Dodgers like Biggio and Bagwell go with the Astros, what with him playing 245 of his 1820 career games with them.

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