Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Get Bent, Hillbillies” Edition
The Braves are rapidly rising up my list of teams I hate. Seriously? After the headhunting bullshit they’ve been pulling for the last two years Yunel Escobar is going to cry about getting plunked by a guy who throws an 87-m.p.h. fastball? I also noticed those Coca-Cola-loving assholes were awful quick to [...]
Cubs Sign Jesus Christ; Christ Gives Up Grand Slam to Lee
CHICAGO, Ill.–The Cubs took a drastic step in their struggle to get out Astros slugger Carlos Lee Wednesday morning. Cubs general manager Jim Hendry signed Jesus Christ to a three-day contract reportedly worth thirty pieces of silver. Christ wore the number 99, as his first four choices, 3, 7, 12, and 40, were [...]
Billy Beane is Not Infallible, Morons
If there was a downside to Jim Hendry’s masterful acquisition of Rich Harden and Chad Gaudin, it was the fact that the Billy Beane blowers came out in full force to defend the trade. I like Billy Beane. I think he’s one of the top five general managers in the MLB. He [...]
It’s Only Spring Training. It’s Only Spring Training.
INT.–JIM HENDRY’S OFFICE–DAY
Cubs manager LOU PINIELLA and general manager JIM HENDRY sit around a desk in Hendry’s office. Lou’s Cubs have just dropped another game to the Diamondbacks, their Lou breathes slowly into a paper bag as Jim throws pencils at the ceiling, trying to get them to stick.
Four More Years! Or at Least One!
Over on Desipio, CT (or CT II, as he is known over there) wrote the following post, entitled, “MacPhail’s final gift to Hendry.”
No, it’s not Brian Roberts (at least not yet).
No, it’s not a sweatervest and argyle socks.
Dolan mentioned in today’s Dose (or whatever the hell he’s calling them) that Lou Piniella was stumping [...]
Yo, Jim! I Got Your “Two Significant Moves” Right Here!
[Gestures toward balls]
Nah, I’m just messing with you, Jim. Lou has balls enough for the whole team. Really, though, I’m going to freak you out with this one. Forget Erik Bedard. Forget him. I figured out how you can end your offseason as the top team in the National League [...]
I Wish I Could Say It’s a Pleasure to Meet You
NOTE: Some of the comments have reminded me of additional things that Jim mentioned. Any additions I’ve made since about 12:30 a.m. are in bold.
When I woke up this morning, I had my opinion of Jim Hendry. I thought he was a man who loved three things: Krispy Kreme donuts, doing shots [...]
It’s Meet Jim Hendry Day!
Today is the day, Sons of Essian, that I get to meet the man behind the signings of Glendon Rusch and Neifi Perez, and trades FOR Steve Trachsel and Craig Monroe. It looks like the winner of the “What Should I Ask Hendry?” poll is, “Why do you guys hate Sean Marshall so much?” [...]
With Tapani, Mulholland Unavailable, Cubs Look to Lieber
Okay, come on. There have been rumors floating around for a while that the Cubs were interested in Jon Lieber, but I thought nothing would come of them. It looks like something actually might come of them. While normally I would be in favor of any move that decreases Ryan Dempster’s chance [...]
HJE’s First Scoop?
I can’t tell you who, and I can’t tell you what, and I’m not really sure on why and how, but a source who asked to remain unnamed has suggested that the Brian Roberts hostage crisis has been delayed due to the inclusion of one Felix Pie and one Erik Bedard in the trade conversations [...]
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