Open Mic Night at Wrigley
In spring training, Ryan Dempster guaranteed that he would win the World Series. The Spanish word for “he would win” is ganaría. That’s pronounced “gonorrhea,” which I’m pretty sure I have after watching last night’s Cubs-Dodgers game. Think I went pretty far for a joke with very little payoff? You should, [...]
A Yankee Fan Predicts the Cubs-Dodgers NLDS
Just when you thought the Yankees’ elimination from the 2008 postseason would be the end of Yankees talk for the year, some idiot writes this idiocy. It’s time to face reality. Win. Lose. Tear their stadium down brick by dingy brick. There is no escaping the Yankees. I, for [...]
Instant Replay Is Fine, But Already Needs Fixing
I know your thoughts have already turned toward tomorrow night’s early evening’s late afternoon’s NLDS showdown between the Dodgers and the Cubs, but please permit me a brief rant about Bud Selig’s idiocy. I believe it was Sunday when I was listening to Pat and Ron on the radio, and Pat mentioned that on [...]
Magic Number Countdown: 11
11 more wins. That’s all the Cubs need to collect to make the unthinkable thinkable and to set off what will be the most ridiculous party in the history of the city of Chicago. You know HJE has a plan to count this down in style. Below are my top eleven moments [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Is the Regular Season Already Over?” Edition
First of all, thanks to TJ Brown for the picture. Secondly, holy crap. Is it really the end of September? It seems like just yesterday I was celebrating the birth of our country by firing explosives into the air and stuffing Lee Greenwood into a dumpster. Whaddya mean, “That WAS just [...]
Muskbaggery
This week’s Muskbag is chock full of personal questions, propositions, and SAM FULD. Hurray!
How I Spent My Summer Baseball Season
I was talking with Pre the other day, and Pre made the astute observation (thank you, Pre) that Alfonso Soriano’s recent “Player Perspectives” essay was clearly a punishment handed to him by Lou Piniella for not running out a recent deep fly ball. It’s clear that Soriano had help on the essay. Fortunately, [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “We’re Good, and That’s the Tooth” Edition
So, Carlos Zambrano went out and beat the Reds even after chewing his gum so hard that he cracked a molar? I’m not sure if that’s badass or completely ridiculous. Either way, the magic number is at 30 with 35 games left to play. So, even if the Brewers win out, all [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Get Bent, Hillbillies” Edition
The Braves are rapidly rising up my list of teams I hate. Seriously? After the headhunting bullshit they’ve been pulling for the last two years Yunel Escobar is going to cry about getting plunked by a guy who throws an 87-m.p.h. fastball? I also noticed those Coca-Cola-loving assholes were awful quick to [...]
Ryan Theriot Proves that Anyone Can Have a Mailbag
I guess my good friend PAUL SULLIVAN must have lost my phone number. He had a perfect opportunity to give his old pal Bad Kermit an opportunity to berate a bunch of dopey Cubs fans, and he wasted it on Ryan Theriot (be sure to check out the post-Mailbag comments; brilliant!). Fortunately, the [...]
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