Archive for the “Transactions” Category

I have once again forgotten that some of you may expect actual Cubs news on HJE every once in a while. In case you hadn’t heard, the 11 1/3-inning Cub career of Chad Fox is again on the ropes, as he was put on the 15-day disabled list yesterday with a case of being really old. The Cubs called up right-handed reliever Jose Ascanio to take Fox’s place. Ascanio was acquired from the Braves in the offseason for reliever Will Ohman.

If the Cubs do end up signing Jim Edmonds today, as the rumors suggest will happen, there is one (and ONLY one) good thing that will come of the signing. Because of the Edmonds rumors, RV directed me to this gold mine, a St. Louis Magazine article about Edmonds’ restaurant. If you dipped a Muskat Mailbag in chocolate-flavored gold, shaped it like boobs, and served it off a $1,000 bill pulled from Megan Fox’s underpants, it wouldn’t be as good as this article. So, here we go:
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Jim Hendry, you’ve done an awful lot of dumb things in your tenure as the Chicago Cubs’ general manager. You signed Neifi Perez a couple of times. You thought Shawn Estes belonged in a starting rotation. You traded Kyle Farnsworth right after a crap year instead of right after a good year. You ate that whole cheesecake that had been sitting out on the counter for a week, even though I told you that the top shouldn’t feel slimy. I’ve forgiven you for most of those things. But so help you God, if you sign Jim Edmonds, you are dead to me.
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It turns out Chad Fox has not yet died, and is now on the Cubs’ 25-man roster. Kevin Hart and his “cutter of death” 5.06 ERA were sent down to Iowa.

In case you hadn’t heard, yesterday the Cubs placed dumb guy Alfonso Soriano on the 15-day disabled list and called up dumb guy Eric Patterson to take his place. Soriano injured his calf, or hamstring, or hoof or something on his first chance Tuesday night. Presumably, Mike Fontenot will get a fair amount of playing time at second base with Mark DeRosa shifting to left field to take Soriano’s place. Patterson will take Soriano’s place in the Cubs’ weekly spelling bees.

As has been mentioned, this move fits right in with Hendry’s M.O. for insisting upon carrying 10 second basemen on the 25-man roster. It also makes one wonder if Hendry didn’t catch Matt Murton and Sean Marshall double-teaming his ex-wife.

The Cubs sent down left-hander Carmen Pignatiello and brought up left-hander Sean Marshall, along with some recombinant swine DNA.

For some reason, the Cubs have signed former Toronto Blue Jay Reed Johnson. Johnson is basically what you’d get if you took away a chunk of Matt Murton’s power, added a bunch of strikeouts, marginally improved his defense, and then slugged him in the lower back with a baseball bat.

Oh, the sun also rose this morning, and the Cubs put Angel Guzman on the 60-day disabled list. It’ll be news when the Cubs take Guzman OFF the 60-day disabled list.

I wouldn’t wish Cincinnati Red fandom on anyone on earth right now. Not only do those poor people have to watch Dusty Baker mismanage their team, but now they’re fortunate enough to watch the infuriating Corey Patterson swing from his ass and block center field stud prospect Jay Bruce. As added insult to injury, the Reds also inked Jerry Hairston, Jr., a guy who played like such a moron in Chicago, he made Ronny Cedeno look savvy. Is this what it was like for the rest of the NL Central when Dusty was in Chicago? It’s going to be a long season, Reds fans.

But better you than us.

The Cubs have signed former Diamondback / White Sox utility infielder Alex Cintron. Call me crazy, but I actually like the signing. Cintron is a switch-hitter, and is a far better bench option than Ronny Cedeno. Plus, it might very well mean that Cedeno is headed to Baltimore for Brian Roberts.

Is Erik Bedard the reason the Cubs still haven’t been able to trade for Brian Roberts? Possibly. Never fear, though, as it looks like Bedard to Seattle is close to happening. IF the Orioles were demanding Rich Hill plus a bunch of prospects in exchange for Bedard, it probably would have been a pretty lateral trade for the Cubs, as their numbers are similar, and Hill remains under the Cubs’ control for several more seasons. For an interesting read check out Cubs f/x’s breakdown of Bedard’s curve ball versus Hill’s curve ball.