I think it’s great that more and more ballplayers are taking the opportunity in this age of the blog to communicate on a more direct level with their fans. Apparently, it also gives the fans an opportunity to kiss as much ballplayer ass as they possibly can. Cubs second baseman Mark DeRosa’s fans are something straight out of a Carrie Muskat Mailbag. The highlights are below:

Mark, great blog. I can’t imagine what this club would do without you. If you ask me, Mark DeRosa is this club’s MVP.

Me too. If they trade Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, Geovany Soto, Kosuke Fukudome, Carlos Zambrano, and Ryan Dempster, then Mark definitely has my completely worthless MVP vote.

Thanks so much for the blog…I love that I’m watching you in one room and commenting on your blog in another!

Before you ask, I skipped ahead. Yes, this commenter is a dude. A dude who was definitely cranking one out while typing that comment. Wrap your mind around THAT.

How about the Gospel According to Mark. Appreciate you big guy love the hustle love the attitude. Im a 3rd generation Cubs fan don’t let the fanaticism of some overshadow your effort we’re just pulling for you real hard.

Different guy. Same thinly-veiled underlying message. “Appreciate you big guy”? “We’re just pulling for you real hard”? There are an awful lot of dudes out there jerking off to Mark DeRosa.

Hi Mark,

Just wanted to say that I think you are an amazing athlete! My little brother thinks the world of you, he is 8.. i am 22… anyways he just met and worked with Ryan Theriot and Rich Hill at a camp a couple weeks ago, and was starstruck, but he really looks up to you, he loves that you know how to play so many positions and wants to be just like you! He plays for a U9 traveling team in Oak Brook. I want to personally thank you for being the inspiration to him, he tries so hard and eats, lives, breathes baseball because of amazing athletes and people like you! A true inspiration!

Thank you again,
Lauren

Finally, a nice, heterosexual female with a prurient interest in Mark’s blog. Oh, you didn’t notice? Allow me to interpret.

Hi, Mark! I’m a 22 y.o. mature and fully developed female. I had a shot at maybe getting nekkid with Rich Hill or Ryan Theriot, but I’m waiting for the big payoff. I want a guy who knows a bunch of positions. If you want to get in touch with me, I’m at most U9 traveling team games in Oak Brook. I would like to personally thank you with my mouth, if you know what I mean. E-mail me!

Hey Mark,
I am so glad that you are such a big part of this team. I will never understand why players like you are overlooked for the superstars. To me someone as versatile as you are is more of a superstar than someone that can only play 1 position.
In closing thank you for being the person that you are and such a huge important part of the Cubs.

“Hey, Mark. Doesn’t it suck that you’re not a superstar? Oh, well. At least you can play a bunch of positions, so you don’t just ride the bench all the time.” Also, you didn’t just write your thesis. “In conclusion” is a bit much, isn’t it?

Wow, who’d have guessed that Matt Damon has it in for you so badly. I’d say there’s always Ben Affleck, but honestly, I figure taking abuse from Damon is probably better than being friends with Affleck in the first place.Incidentally, it’s nice to see you starting to break out of the slump. Have you closed up your stance? It kinda looks that way.It’s kind of amusing that Derrek lets you borrow his glove from time to time. Just don’t ask to borrow his jock; I hear he gets a bit territorial about that.Okay, maybe you could call this blog Mark DeRosa’s Traveling Funhaus and Amateur Dentistry. Or substitute “Sandwich Shoppe” for Amateur Dentistry, but I rather like the idea of you accosting unwitting fans at conventions with a rusty drill. Or maybe you could think of your own idea instead of pestering us about it all the time, Mr. I Play Everywhere. Whatever you do, hang tough, play hard, and work that count!Link WinterSouth Bend, IN

What. The fuck. Are you talking about?

Keep up with the multiple positions, it is helping my fantasy baseball team a lot this year.

“You better keep playing well, DeRosa. I got twenty bucks riding on you, so if you don’t finish with at least fifteen home runs, I’ll break your goddamn legs.”

Mark,
1st, screw you Damon. 2nd, you should have Lou let you play all 9 positions sometime this year. I am sure that you could, some how, get at least one perfect inning pitching. Also, I am happy that the Cubs didn’t make the trade for Roberts because you would have probably been a spot player, which would be completely unjustified. Anyway, keep doing what you do and don’t let punks like Damon get under your skin. True Cubs fans are behind you 100%
Aaron

I sure hope Lou decides to dick around and let DeRosa play all nine positions. Preferably in the playoffs. I also like the veiled insult: “I’m really glad the Cubs didn’t get Roberts, because he’s better at baseball than you are, and you probably would only play, like, twice all year.”

Hey, DeRo! you’re my HeRo!!!!

I really wish I could un-read that.

Can I just start by saying you are one of the best looking guys I have ever laid eyes on (yes, I am a female). I love watching you play! One of the best utility players out there. It’s so thrilling to watch the Cubs this year. Keep up the excellent work. I hope someday to be able to meet you and perhaps get a picture or autograph. I just discovered your blog and am already committed to checking in everyday to see if something new is up. I love getting a little peek inside the thoughts of a player. Good luck for the rest of the season and whatever you do, stay healthy…we need ya!

“Mark, please do me. I’m so lonely.”

As a Cub fan from the age of four (ok, that wasn’t yesterday), I can only say that you show the skills of a CEO, or, darn it, a woman in your ability to play so many positions at one time. I was a catcher as a young woman. I played baseball and football because of my height.

“I’m a feminist amazon, and I bet I could bench more than you could bench.”

Mark,
Just wanted to say I’m a die hard Cubs fan, live in wrigleyville and have been a big fan of yours ever since you joined the team. Honestly this is the first time I’ve read your blog but I noticed you didn’t have a name yet so I was thinking maybe something like “(The) Mark of a good Pennman”…kind of cheesey but it plays off of your college a little…keep up the good work…

Jason

Or he could call it “Dusty Quaker”!

Oh, and as far as a blog name, how ’bout “DeRo’s Deliberations”. Too high brow?

WAY too high brow! What does “deliberations” even MEAN?! I’m going to go watch some of Dennis Miller’s stand-up. At least I can understand THAT.

m-m-m-m-m-m-m-my DEROSA!! Takin from the hit 80’s song “My Sharona”. I thought of this when you joined the team, I want my credit! hahaha

You can pick up your credit in the back room of Bernie’s at 4:00 a.m. tomorrow morning. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going. Come alone.

Have you thought of naming your blog “The BlogRosa Files”? Just a suggestion.

Just like that TV show! Great suggestion. I have a few more. “Battlestar GalacticRosa.” “Desperate HouseRosa.” “Dancing with the StarsRosa.” “Jon and Kate Plus EightRosa.” “LostRosa.”

Feel free to use any of those.

Hey Mark,

How cool is this - to read a blog from an active Cubs player during the season! Very cool indeed. Thanks for sharing some of the inside stuff of how you adapt to so many positions making it look effortless. Of course it isn’t or all players would do it. Keep up the postings - lots of fun to read.

I have a fan site & blog at www.CubHub.net and just signed up for an MLB Blog at http://cubhubnet.mlblogs.com - check them out and let me know what you think! GO CUBS

I can assure you, he didn’t check your sites out. Also, if you’re going to plug a site, you might consider putting more than one, three-sentence post on it.

well considering i just now found out there was a blog, id have to say that immediately the name that popped into my, often times, moronic head was “marky mark and the funky blog”. i mean honestly, you cant really top that. regardless, today is probably gonna be better for me than you cause in about 2 hours or so youre gonna have to try and figure out jake peavy, and as a former little league allstar i think we can both agree that we understand how difficult it is to hit cy young winners(i was signed as a 9 year by the a’s but decided i didnt wanna live in oakland of course). anyhoo, get us a sweep when you come out here(arizona, so i can really talk crap to my bartender) and hopefully ill see you guys out after the games.
dane

Cook?

HEY MARK,

I MET YOUR BROTHER AT THE ATLANTA AIRPORT ABOUT 2-4 MONTHS AGO. HE WAS WEARING THE HOME HAT WHEN I COMMENTED ON HOW I ILKED IT. HE THEN RESPONDED THAT HE WAS YOUR BROTHER….VERY PERSONABLE YOUNG MAN….AND QUITE THE STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO YOU.

WHY ARE WE SHOUTING?

Hi Mark,

I know you can’t second guess Lou, but I’m somewhat concerned abour our lack of squeeze bunting. We have had several opportunities, especially with Pie, but we always swing away. And when is the last time you even saw a drag bunt? Last year we were playing the White Sox and I had just told my friend that if Lou would ever squeeze it would turn the season around. I forget the players now, but we squeezed in a run against the Sox and the season went very well after that point.

Dave in Louisiana

They have the second-best record in baseball and are scoring runs in bunches, you clod. Who gives a shit if they’re not squeeze bunting? Also, off the top of my head, I can’t think of a single instance so far this season in which it would have been appropriate to squeeze.

Just saw the line-up for today’s game (the 15th) and you aren’t in it. I know everyone needs a day off now and then, but it’s just never the same when you are in the line-up.

Burn!!!

So its my first time on this blog, and the first picture I see is you in a Braves uniform!!! Also, I wanted all Cub Fans and you to be sure to check up on our friends to the north, they have a web site (peeinyourpantsforthebrewers) they are always slamming cub fans and players.

Yeah, we better keep tabs on them and make sure they’re not plotting something. You never know what sort of brilliantly diabolical deeds that a group of people who promise to urinate on themselves are capable of.

I’m also very excited to see you guys this weekend against the Pirates. I finally get to see the famous Wrigley Field Stadium.

While you’re in town, be sure to also check out The Field Museum Institute, Lake Shore Drive Road, the Sears Tower Building, and Grant Park Open Area.

Cubs fans. Sometimes, I hate us so much.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 16th, 2008 at 11:50 pm and is filed under Cubs.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.