Oh, hello. What’s that? You want me to back up my claim that tHom Brennaman and Chris Welch may or may not be child pornographers? Why should I? tHom and Chris weren’t forced to back up their completely ludicrous implication Monday night on a live baseball broadcast that Cub stud catcher Geovany Soto has used performance-enhancing drugs.

Thanks to Rob G. at The Cub Reporter, if you missed tHom and Chris’s comments, here they are:

THOM: You look at his career numbers, I’m talking about his minor league numbers, he just came to the majors for the first time this season. And you wonder, you know, where did all of this offense all of a sudden come from Geovany Soto?…You look at his minor league numbers, .260 one year, .269, .242, .271, .253…he had never hit more than nine home runs in a minor league season..NINE, until last year when he hit TWENTY-SIX in Triple-A Iowa and hit .353. Now all of a sudden, in his first full-year in the major leagues, granted it’s only a month and a week, but he’s hitting almost .340 and leads the Cubs in runs batted in with 24.

CHRIS: I don’t mean this in a bad way, but before steroid testing, you see a blip in the radar like that you say, well..

THOM: Right…

CHRIS: …one of the possibilities might be he’s juicing, but obviously that’s not the case anymore, everyone’s tested. And you know that doesn’t happen very much with baseball players because usually, whether it’s at the minor league level or the major league level, by the time you’re 28 or so…I’m not sure how old Soto is…he’s only 25, you reach a certain plateau of productivity. You pretty much stay within range. Maybe now that he’s getting closer to the prime of his career…around…he’s 25, so it’ll be a couple years until he’s in that…but maybe he’s reaching a new plateau.

THOM: Well another guy that was similar to that was Sammy Sosa…now people can accuse Sosa of “did he do this or did he do that”. To my knowledge he’s never been tested in a positive way for any kind of steroids, whether people believe or not he did is an entirely different question.

But the point being, that Sosa was one of those guys coming up through the White Sox organization who never hit many home runs, then all of a sudden got to the big leagues and started knocking the cover off the ball.

You. Fucking. Jackasses. Fuck you both. Seriously. How dare you “professional” broadcasters do something so completely unprofessional as to implicate an outstanding young player just because he finally blossomed into a Major League hitter? Even worse, you didn’t even have the balls to flat-out implicate Soto. You basically said, “I don’t want to say the guy took steroids, but guys who figure out how to hit most likely took steroids.” Who the hell do you think you are? And, tHom, bringing up Sosa? For God’s sake, he hasn’t even been on the Cubs for four years. Pathetic.

Honestly, the two of you should be out on your asses. Your lame antics may be suitable for a shock jock morning radio show, but they are wholly unacceptable in a Major League Baseball broadcast. I sincerely hope the Reds organization forces these clowns to make a formal apology to Geovany Soto. And I hope Soto hears what they said and shoves it up the Reds’ asses for the rest of his career (he’s off to a good start, putting up a .371/.421/.686 line so far in his young career).

And if anyone in the FBI is reading this, you might want to confiscate these guys’ hard drives. I’m not saying. I’m just saying.

BallHype: hype it up!

32 Responses to “tHom Brennaman and Chris Welch May or May Not Be Child Pornographers”

  1. *In a Nutsack says:

    Wow, I must have been under a rock because this is the first I hear of this. These assclowns really should formally apologize to Geo.

    [Reply]

  2. djwoody says:

    I heard it and couldn’t believe what they were saying. A couple of Grade A douchebags worthy of the fine Reds organization.

    [Reply]

  3. Ty Griffin says:

    The entire Brenneman family can die of gonorrhea and rot in hell.

    [Reply]

  4. RV says:

    tHom and Chris must have missed the widely reported story that a big reason for Han’s success is that he LOST 30 POUNDS. Somebody should tell these halfwits that players generally get bigger when they are on the juju, and smaller when they’re not taking anything (just ask Pudge Rodriguez).

    http://cubs.scout.com/2/671620.html

    Soto’s hard work began back in Spring Training with a commitment to his body. He went on a strict diet and has since lost 30 pounds.

    “It’s quickened him up in every area. His speed is quicker and in turn his bat is quicker,” Bailey noted.

    [Reply]

    Bad Kermit reply on May 8, 2008:

    He probably lost weight because of all the COCAINE he’s doing.

    [Reply]

    JayBandit reply on May 8, 2008:

    That is also why they say he’s even better at catcher because he doesn’t have 30 pounds of flab holding him back when he’s throwing runners out at 2nd.

    Funny thing about that is in the beginning of the year, everyone was dogging Soto because he only threw out like 2 for his first 11, and I think it may have been 0 for his first 9…and now they’re jerking themselves off to his 36% or whatever it is…well take out that bogus 0 for 9, and he’s like 65% throwing runners out.

    This kid is awesome in all facits of the game, so they can eat shit and die

    [Reply]

  5. Weebs says:

    This may be the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. How the hell can two guys who consider themselves professionals make a claim like that? That’s like me saying Griffey stopped hitting 40+ HRs a year because he stopped taking steroids. What a couple of twats. I hope this gets enough attention by the press and the players so some action is taken against them.

    [Reply]

    BigFlax reply on May 8, 2008:

    Seriously. Griffey, by all accounts, is a class guy who was never even considered as a juicer. But hey, he hit more home runs than anyone but McGwire for a period of time - including back to back 56 HR seasons - and then suddenly he kept getting injured! Anyone else think that fits the steroid profile? I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in the Brenneman family.

    [Reply]

  6. HelloWorld says:

    Kerm. You should add that to his wikipedia article. “Thom Brenneman may or may not be a child pornographer.” Just that, no explanation. Steak sauce.

    [Reply]

  7. Jon says:

    You have got to be kidding me. Inexcusable.

    I think the Cubs need to shove some bats up the ass of a certain inflated broadcaster. That’s the kind of slumpbuster we need.

    [Reply]

  8. flannj says:

    But Chris said he doesn’t mean this in a bad way.

    So that makes it all okay… right?

    [Reply]

  9. Bad Kermit says:

    If anyone is pissed off enough, here is the webpage to contact the Reds and demand blood. If anyone has a more direct contact, please let us know.

    [Reply]

    Bad Kermit reply on May 8, 2008:

    That site also has the mail and phone number for the Reds:

    Write the Reds:
    Cincinnati Reds
    100 Main St.
    Cincinnati, OH 45202

    Call the Reds:
    (513) 765-7000

    [Reply]

    JackB reply on May 9, 2008:

    Here’s the e-mail I sent, in case any one gives a shit.

    http://shooterslounge.blogspot.com/2008/05/to-reds-organization.html

    [Reply]

    JackB reply on May 9, 2008:

    And the Reds’ reply:

    Dear Jack,

    Thank you for your e-mail. We appreciate hearing our fans comments.

    Ginny Kamp
    5/9/08

    I hope that’s an automated response. If I hear nothing else, I guess the next step is writing an actual letter and if that provides no succor, resorting to a phone call.

  10. Irish Yeti says:

    Paul Bako’s batting pretty good this year…. Luck?…. or Roids?

    [Reply]

    Carlos reply on May 9, 2008:

    Both.

    [Reply]

  11. idigapony says:

    Griffey also was known to dine with one Mr. Barry Bonds. And if Soto is using steroids why does he keep getting smaller?

    [Reply]

  12. TDubbs says:

    I like the one guy’s last name

    [Reply]

  13. Irish Yeti says:

    I tried to email them b/c I figure if they are flooded with emails then it may make them look twice…. but I got this response: “This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification.Delivery to the following recipients failed. bbowman@cincinnatireds.com” Fucking bastards

    [Reply]

    JackB reply on May 9, 2008:

    Try again, Yeti. I had to do it twice to get it to go through. I did get a thanks for playing e-mail back eventually.

    [Reply]

  14. Poon says:

    This smacks of desperation to get a rivalry brewing between the Cubs and Reds. You want your team to have better attendance for 3 series every season, well get the Cubs fans pumped up to drive there and spend their money in your park. Then maybe your shitty hometown fans might show up to some games. Worked for Milwaukee.

    [Reply]

    BigFlax reply on May 8, 2008:

    What really worked for Milwaukee was not totally sucking all the time. The Reds hired Dusty Baker, so forget that idea.

    [Reply]

    Poon reply on May 8, 2008:

    For a few years before they finally pulled their heads out of their asses, a hell of a lot of Cubs fans would shoot up there for games. Everyone knows the Cubs have a loyal fan base that shows up to games all over. Add to that a city within driving distance and you get the Chicagoans drivin out.

    [Reply]

  15. powen01 says:

    I have sent those assclowns in Cincy two emails, and have yet to hear a response from the organization. My problem isn’t with their team or their organization, just those two possible child porn monger jagoffs.

    The last thing I am ever going to do again is go to a game in Cincy and spend my money. This is the same organization that forced ticket buyers of inter-league games to automatically buy tickets to a few other games too. Reeks of desperation. I am also boycotting games at my local Louisville Slugger Field as its the home of their AAA team.

    Well, I am actually going to go to the ballpark in town, but when I hit the pisser, I’m going to be swinging my firehose wilder than Alfonso at an 0-2 curve ball in the dirt. Have fun cleaning that up, you bastards…

    PS: It’s possible they like to fuck horses as well. Ask Buzz Bissinger.

    [Reply]

    Mike D. reply on May 8, 2008:

    This is the same organization that forced ticket buyers of inter-league games to automatically buy tickets to a few other games too

    Uncle Jerry’s White Sox did the same thing in ‘97 for anyone who wanted to see the Cubs in Comiskey. Good to know he’s in such good company.

    Also, I remember the Reds retiing Johnny Bench’s number about 10 years or so ago. Sunday afternoon, sunny day, and the upper deck was practically empty. Of course the alleged child pornographer wasn’t broadcasting their games then, but his potential child pornagrapher father was.

    [Reply]

    JayBandit reply on May 9, 2008:

    The Pirates do this with Yankee’s tickets every year.

    [Reply]

  16. JackB says:

    With the testing that’s been in place in the minor leagues for the past several years, I highly doubt Geo is using. To me, losing the 3o pounds has really helped Soto out. He had been called up before last season and he was a behemoth. He’s still a big dude, but now he looks like a healthier big dude. Soto is currently my big man-crush, so I’ll definitely be sending an e-mail to the Reds organization.

    [Reply]

  17. JayBandit says:

    Did anyone actually pay attention to what they said rather than simmer in BK’s boiling fury?

    They clearly said that BEFORE there was such stringent testing in the minors Soto’s numbers would make you suspicious. By saying that one line they were saying “obviously he doesn’t do steroids because of the minor league testing”. It is a bit of a back-handed compliment, but it is still a compliment. Thus why he says “i don’t mean this in a bad way”.

    I don’t like the Red’s announcers much at all, and it has nothing to do with their most recent run-ins with the cubs…they just are very boring. However, I don’t think you should all be lemmings and just get angry when it isn’t a reasonable response.

    I only got the Red’s feed of the Cubs game and saw this conversation live, and honestly thought nothing of it. They weren’t saying it in a mean way, or anything like that. I think people should go back and read what they said before we start crucifying the guy.

    [Reply]

    Bad Kermit reply on May 9, 2008:

    My point is they shouldn’t have brought up the word “steroids” at all. That’s like me saying, “I’m not saying JayBandit is a horrible, wife-beating, racist drunk, because horrible, wife-beating, racist drunks don’t frequent HJE anymore. But when you see a guy act like JayBandit does, it USED to make you think, ‘Wow. That guy is a horrible, wife-beating, racist drunk.’”

    If tHom’s intention WASN’T to plant a seed of doubt in the minds of Cubs fans and Soto lovers, I’ll eat my hat. It’s a bullshit ploy from a terrible announcer, and I think Soto (and his fans) should have every right to be infuriated.

    [Reply]

  18. Rob G. says:

    thanks for the link, Kermit.

    you’re welcome to use our picture of Thom Brenneman as well.
    thombrenneman.jpg

    [Reply]

    Bad Kermit reply on May 9, 2008:

    No problem, Rob. That picture is awesome.

    [Reply]

Leave a Reply

You can add images to your comment by clicking here.