It’s About Fucking Time We Talk About The Fucking Cubs
All right, the day’s getting late. It’s been a real great fucking day. They’re really fucking behind you here(/fucking sarcasm). But I don’t want this fucking day to be such a complete fucking waste of time. Uncle Lee’s been watching your fucking team and he’s gotta say–this is not your typical band of jobless cocksuckers.
I think you could still use a fucking shortstop. That little cocksucker Theriot seems to win as many games as he loses. A real fucking Dave Owen, don’t you think? Okay, maybe not, but if that motherfucking turtle lookalike Cedeno wasn’t so fucking stupid, he could probably do more things for you cocksuckers than Theriot. Too bad that motherfucker’s still just as close to being one of the 15% who don’t fucking work for a living. That’s especially true for this cocksucker, who probably is too fucking stupid to get a fucking job working at fucking McDonalds.
If I had a top NL first and third baseman and right fielder in ‘83 like you guys do now, we may have taken fucking Philadelphia that season. Not to fucking rip on Buckner and Cey, but my fucking right fielder was Keith Fucking Moreland? Jesus Christ how were we only 5-14 at the start? I’ll tell you what, though–this fucking Japanese cocksucker that you guys got is the best thing to happen to you cocksuckers since fucking unemployment insurance.
This fucking Soriano, though. You motherfuckers need to get a handle on this guy, or he’ll be a disheartening fucking ballplayer.
I managed a young fucking Jody Davis in ‘82 and ‘83, so I know what I’m talking about when I say that this cocksucker Soto is about a hundred fucking times better than Davis, and that’s not knocking that red-headed cocksucker Jody. He made a few fucking All-Star games and is still one of the best catchers any of you under-80 cocksuckers have seen, but this motherfucker Soto’s gonna be the best you’ve had since Gabby Fucking Hartnett, and you can go downtoon and PRINT IT.
Not until my ass got canned and then my old buddy Dallas Fucking Green traded for Bob Fucking Denier did our team have a centerfielder worth a fuck. This guy you guys got now with the jobless fucking racoon on his face is quite the fucking steal. Let’s hope, for your fucking sake, that this guy’s the real deal.
It’s a good thing you assholes have such should-be unemployed cocksuckers like Ned Yost and Dusty Baker in your fucking division. If your fucking team makes the playoffs this fucking year, how about you keep your fucking hands off the fucking field, you cocksucking motherfuckers?
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Comments
Section 242 I enjoyed Mean Uncle Lee’s posts multifold but they do not negate my love for Sweet Uncle Lou.
Joepa58 Mean Uncle Lee, I wish you would make an appearance at this cocksucking sight more often. That jobless cocksucker Kermit can kiss my fuckin’ ass and PRINTIT!!
Lee, don’t I remember you slapping Bill Buckner like he was a $3/trick whore after he fist-faught Gary Carter on first base, or was that my then 7 year old mind playing tricks on me?
Weebs Mean Uncle Lee, your posts today would have made you a small fortune in the Swear Jar:
Brad D change the website domain to http://www.hireleeelia.com you worthless cocksuckers.. print it.
CT
bocaj
StPatrick
TDubbs
BigFlax
Uncle Lee, you will be missed. Your posts were very entertaining. Until next year…. You Fucking Cocksucker