More Inane Journalism, And Other Things

Bobby Leon Scales!!

From Wiki:
Scales is a substitute teacher at Milton High School in Alpharetta Georgia (he attended Milton) during the offseason.

Maybe the Cubs can hire Dennis Quaid to play him.
As a lefty.

Not that it’s a great option, but theoretically they could go with Reed in LF and Pie in CF, correct?
That would get Pie his regular ABs so in 4 weeks when he still sucks Huey won’t be able to say “But he didn’t get a chance!”

Random thoughts:

If they don’t call up Murton to fill in for Soriano, then fuck this organization. Seriously.

What were they saying about Soriano’s injury? I was at the game and was quite confused when Soriano made a catch in the top of the first with DeRosa at second base, and then Fontenot led off the game. Patterson and Dusty got the booing they deserved, and I enjoyed it. When Bako came up, there was complete apathy.

Thanks for the tickets, Section 242! Miss Piggy and I had a great time!

God damn, Dempster has been outstanding so far. He’s 3-0 with a 2.37 ERA. You know what that means? As of right now, the Cubs are better off with RYAN DEMPSTER in the rotation than Johan Santana. What. The. Fuck?

Thank God Mike got this post up. I’ll try to post something tomorrow (today?), but it’s unlikely that I’ll get anything done. My dog, Ryno, is going in for knee surgery on his torn CCL (the dog version of an ACL), so I’ll be busy. Any good thoughts you can send Ryno’s way would be much appreciated.

One more thought:

Derrek Lee. Holy shit, Derrek Lee. You are a beast.

Godspeed, Ryno.

May your recovery be filled with endless milk bones and exposed butt holes.

Also, they could just keep Fontenot at 2B and move DeRosa to LF like they did tonight.

Though, in all seriousness, if they don’t call up Murton they’re retarded.

Unless they move Zambrano to LF, which is probably the best option.

Murton is hitting .400 thus far with limited at bats in AAA.

… at least according to http://www.fangraphs.com/statss.aspx?playerid=6307&position=OF.

If Soriano’s injury really is just a two-week day affair, it’ll be a lot of fun to see murton/e-pat/ward (sort of) in the everyday lineup. If the two weeks are up, however, and one of these players is on a tear, and soriano continues to hit .175… It would be disconcerting. But still interesting.

Hope Ryno gets better soon.

Huey, what makes you think Mari(h)ottie was even at the game? He filed his story from home, and you know it.

Limited ABs? So, Murton’s not even getting regular playing time in Iowa?

I used the information of the interwebs, and here’s Murton’s line: As of last night, he has appeared in 11 games. In those 11 games he has 34 ABs, or roughly 3 ABs per game. Since the I-Cubs are 5-6 (which adds up to 11 once punched into the ole calculator), I’m going to go with the irrefutable laws of mathemagics to determine that Matt’s started every game for Iowa.

Matt’s hitting .294/.294/.442 with 0 2B, 0 3B, 0 HR and 0 RBI. All singles. All the time.

P.S., I hope Ryno gets better soon. I also am praying for the Milkbones and exposed balloon knots mentioned by PenFoe.

P.S., 2.0: Derrek Lee is a manbeardbeast.

Murton’s hitting .294. He’s 10 for 34. He’s scored 4 runs and has no RBI. Also, he has NO extra base hits. He has walked 8 times, though which helps him keep up that scorching .736 triple A OPS.

I think Soriano will probably just be out a few days and we’ll get to see some more of the Derosa in LF/Fontenot at 2B lineup.

Maybe Ryno can play left field after he recovers? We’re pulling for you Ryno!

Happy thoughts to Ryno, BK. And I third the motion that Derrek Lee is a beast. It’s gotta be the beard man. Rod Beck’s mustache approves. So does my wife, which worries me a little.

I am with Mike in the ‘give Pie a chance’ camp, but sweet jesus that kid is making it hard on us. My mind grapes remind me that it’s still early in the season, but my Baker-style gut is screaming very loudly that the kid is clueless at the plate right now.

Ryno will be fine if he sticks to a strict regimen of prayers and vitamins after his surgery.

OK, that line should read 294/442/294, then.

My cat, Dave, tore his ACL a few years ago. He’s obviously much tougher than your dog, because he’s never had surgery. And the little fucker still jumps on the counter.

I also send my best wishes to Ryno and believe that Derrek Lee’s beard is a beast.

Additionally, I’d like to add that it was delightful to see Wood make Patterson look like a chump. Not that it’s hard to make Patterson look like a chump.

You have to call up Murton. The guy has a career OBP of something like .365; he’s proven he’s an above-average major league hitter and his left-field defensive work is at least competent (unlike his work in right). And at the very least, if Soriano is only out for a couple weeks, the big-league time could serve as an audition for Murton to be traded for something of value, since we’re not going to move him for what he’s worth as long as he’s languishing in AAA.

It’s entirely possible that Murton will get called up to ride the bench while Johnson starts in left (most of his time in Toronto was spent there), of course. I’m curious to see, frankly, but either way Murton has got to be the one coming up.

Pie is Corey Patterson revisited. He looks absolutely clueless at the plate. Hell I was more excited to see Babe Dempster at the dish.

As for Alf, you KNOW he’s going on the DL. Bring up Murton, but like Fontenot in the lineup….so maybe DeRo can play some left with Opie Taylor. By the way, Fontenot’s defensive play (along with Lee’s) last night probably saved the game.

Best wishes Ryno.

Dempster should be 3-0, but he’s actually only 2-0 (didn’t get a win in the Pittsburgh start). But… yeah, WTF. And best wishes to Ryno; hopefully Rafael Palmeiro’s dog doesn’t sleep with his wife while he’s in surgery.

I think he probably meant “small sample” more than “limited at-bats.”

I was going to try and write something tonight, but as I’ve just got back from the hospital with a very tired, very upset Tonklet - he bit through his lower lip this afternoon - I don’t give much for my chances. I can feel a long night coming on… Mike, you’re writing for three of us. Well, two and a quarter, anyway.

I agree on Murton… if Soriano goes to the DL, you have to call him up. If for no other reason than to try to goose his trade value.

Best case scenario, he hits out of his mind and sticks. Worst case scenario, he sucks and gets sent back down. It’s not like there are any better offensive options down at Iowa right now.

Count me as one who always figured Sori’s hop would result in a drop of a flyball in a critical situation. But I’ve got a friend in D.C. who tells me that the guy was literally dropping every third or fourth fungo in spring training two years ago for the Nats before he added the little hitch, so I’ll take the hop, as long as he makes the catches. Someone tell him to freakin’ stretch before games, though. Sheesh.

Oh, man, I hope Tonklet is okay.

So I don’t think anything is wrong with Michael Wuertz. I’ve said it from the first year he was pitching in the bullpen: the guy is only effective when he has inherited runners. I can’t remember where to find the stats, but I’m pretty sure the only guy better last year at stranding inherited runners than Wuertz was Marmol. He had a 3.48 ERA last year, which isn’t bad, but take away all the monster rallies he started by coming into an inning with the bases empty and he’s one of the better relievers in the league. I know, that’s one of those “take away the bad and he’s good” arguments, but still. Hell, the guy even loves pitching under pressure so much that he gets himself into jams. The second game of the year against the Brewers, he came in to start an inning, loaded the bases, and then got out of the inning without allowing a run. I’m really not sure how Lou hasn’t figured it out yet that the guy is only good at stranding runners. Let Howry start an inning, at least he disappoints in all situations.

As for Soriano, I say the Cubs should just bring up Murton to play LF, and then hit Fukudome and DeRosa or Johnson 1-2. I’d be fine with this lineup:

1. Fukudome
2. Johnson
3. Lee
4. Ramirez
5. DeRosa
6. Soto
7. Murton
8. Theriot

Dude, Wuertz does this every year. Somehow, he gets it in his mind that his fastballs are devastating, so he throws those instead of his slider, which is the only good pitch he has.

And Godspeed Ryno. Who’s a good old pooch?

Best wishes to Kermit and Tonker.

All sensationalism aside, Alfonso Soriano is, in my mind, in the words of Rodney Dangerfield, a “FUCKING IDIOT”.

Agreed, Sim.

Remember that really annoying Cubs/Mets game last year where Glavine got his 300th victory and dumbass Jon Miller thought the Cubs were cheering for him when, in fact, they were cheering the fact that Kerry Wood was getting warm in the bullpen, prepared to make his first appearance in over a year?

Well, that was also the game Soriano pulled his hammy. What really annoyed me about it is that he pulled his hammy on a play that shouldn’t even have happened. DLee singled to right filed with 2 outs and, even though Ramirez was due up, Soriano tried to make third base. So he basically ran his team out of an inning and knocked himself out of action for 3 weeks.

The guy has all of the baseball instincts of a garden hose.

For the record, based on the context of this article, it seems the offender was probably Gordon Wittenmyer.

Okay, as to your last argument — which I’ve seen floating around Cubs boards since that night — I don’t get it. The guy was hustling for an extra base, one he would have made. The only reason he “ran his team out of the inning” was that his hamstring *blew the hell up* on the way to third.

As for why you do that with two outs and A-Ram due up, I can think of at least three reasons…

1. You can score on a wild pitch.
2. You can score on an infield single.
3. Force a throw from the OF that gets away, allowing you to score.

None of those reasons are enough to advance into a close play and possible out, of course, but from my view down the first base line that night, it appeared he would have made it easily before he injured himself. It would have taken a rope of a throw to get him, at least.

We can’t bitch and moan about guys not hustling, then bitch and moan about how stupid they are when they do hustle but get hurt.

This is not a defense of the hop, just of the play last August.

Well from my view down the third-base line, jowels, where the play was right in front of me, I can tell you that Soriano would have been dead even if his hammy didn’t go *BLAMMO*.

Regardless, there is no acceptable rationalization for him to take 3rd with 2 out and Ramirez due up. All 3 of your propositions are less likely than Ramirez simply knocking a single to the outfield.

Wild pitch? you really want to justify taking third on a potential wild pitch?
Infield single? Did we not establish that Ramirez was up?
Forcing a bad throw form the OF? Really now, how often does that happen? That’s a move that *I* make in softball when I’m on the basepaths. That’s not nearly a good enough reason for a major league baserunner to risk carelessly aborting an inning by attempting.

I also think that blaming his “hop” for the injury is retarded. He pulled a calf muscle. It happens.

There’s a difference between hustling and being brain-dead. In that situation, there is no jusification to take third base.

Fuck this organization, apparently.

“I’ve got a friend in D.C. who tells me that the guy was literally dropping every third or fourth fungo in spring training two years ago for the Nats before he added the little hitch”

That matches with the explanation that LouPa gave about “The Hop” (you can rock it, you can roll it, you can slop and you can stroll it at the hop….)

He said it helped him focus on catching routine fly balls that had been giving him trouble before he started doing it.

Sounds like Soriano may have ADD/ADHD issues or something similar. Having experience with ADD myself and a daughter with ADHD, I gotta say let him do whatever works if it allows him to harness that talent effectively out on the ball field. It would also be consistent with his approach at the plate. In that case, batting him lead-off may be the best match for what allows him to show such an outstanding talent from time-to-time. ADD/ADHD’ers tend to be like racehorses or Ferraris — much higher maintenance to get them to where their talents can shine but when everything is clicking — stand back! They blow the doors off everything else on the field.

This is a great opportunity to see what Reed Could do as a fixture in the line up and we could still bring up The Red-Headed Step CHild. How bowt it.

yeah, I fucked up.. I meant “small sample”. I also fucked up with the source. I probably should have just kept my fucking mouth shut, and mentioned that I fucking hate that fuck Eric Patterson is fucking Corey Patterson’s brother. fuck.

“Infield single? Did we not establish that Ramirez was up?”

Yeah, Mike. And Rami *never* pounds the ball straight into the ground whilst swinging for the fences, right?

We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. I saw that play and still think Soriano would have been safe. It would have taken a rope of a throw to get him if he was going full-speed. The throw wasn’t very good, either, but it didn’t matter by that point.

I didn’t think Soriano’s play was “stupid” or “unreasonable” there, and I’ve been one of the biggest critics of the Cubs’ baserunning the past five years.

That’s cool, jowels. It’s a minor point, anyway.

Although I still think the people making a big deal about the hop should find something else to talk about. The hop had nothing to do with the injury.

I suppose the hop didn’t cause the injury per se, but I still wish he’d knock it off. He looks like a little girl when he does it, plus it just seems like showboating to me. One of these days some other team is going to get that idea in their little heads and then Soriano will get one in the ribs and get hurt AGAIN. He just looks goofy and it really bugs me for some illogical fucking reason. I have issues.

Speaking of journalism, I just caught my first glimpse of the “Horry Kow” shirts yesterday (which Wittmeyer describes in his Sun-Times column today).

Holy. Crap. Those are repugnant (the slanted eyes on the Cubby bear take it to a whole new level of “ugly racist”). I gave some grief to the guy selling them. From the article, Fukudome’s pretty clearly offended by them, too, but is too polite to make a huge fuss. But hey, a buck’s a buck, right? Who cares if you make racial jokes at your new star outfielder’s expense?

Any douchebags I see wearing these in Wrigleyville this summer are getting pelted with empties. You might as well be wearing a shirt with the n-word on it.

You know, it’s bad enough when dipwads in the bleachers throw trash on to the warning track and make Cub fans look like idiots. I’ll be damned if I’m going to let a few morons make us all look like racists, too.

It’s pretty clear that shaming the morons won’t be effective.