In honor of the happiest time of the year, they have made today, April 3, Armenian Appreciation Day. It’s noted on Geocities, so it’s got to be true. It’s no secret that I’m fiercely proud of my Armenian heritage, so much so that I sensed shenanigans when HJE went out the other day? Hmm, a site dedicated to re-employ an Armenian-American goes kaput just as the current Cubs manager fell to 0-2 and in panic shuffled his lineup. Sweet Lou felt the pressure of Skip Johnson breathing down his neck, but the campaign to get me back in the Cubs dugout went down. So, I placed a couple calls. One was to this profane guy called Bad Kermit. Turned out it was the wrong one. The second call was to the artist formerly known as “M R.” Amazingly, his crack legal defense team hadn’t shut down Hire Jim Essian! (I think his crack legal defense team was out at the Purple Hotel with the federal government’s star witness.)

Anyway, I found out from the real Bad Kermit that this chaos was caused by you, the shoutboxers! Well, I could play Dusty Baker and claim that your exuberance is clogging up the Intertubes (which in this case would be sort of true), but I’ll instead congratulate you on your enthusiasm! Armenian Appreciation Day should be celebrated with the zeal of St. Patrick’s Day, except without those annoying, drunk Micks!

OK, let’s go through some things I don’t appreciate. We need less of this on a day like today.

• Guys who don’t know how to quit.
• Ledge Jumpers. Guys, it was only two games! (And the Cubs won today!)
• Pollyannas.
• Bad Grammar. (I’m a member of SPOGG.)
• Milwaukeeans.

Ah, but no need to get too negative here. What do I appreciate?

• Baseball season.
• People who know that even Bloomington, Indiana is a better place than Milwaukee.
• Dusty Baker tormenting a city whose metropolitan area spills into Kentucky.
• The Japanese, both the old and the new.
• Proper grammar.
• And finally, Ernie Banks, who kept saying Monday, “This is a miracle.” Ernie wasn’t talking about the statue, folks. He was talking about life in general. Here he was, at the home of the soon-to-be World Champions, enjoying Opening Day, appreciating again how great it is to be loved by millions upon millions of fans. Ernie Banks is the miracle. He didn’t cash checks and do towel drills when with the Cubs before bolting to San Diego. He didn’t do well in his first year before discovering “pussy and beer.” He didn’t use his head as his ace’s punching bag, rendering his brain cells useless.

Yes, Ernie Banks was a miracle, but I think the Cubs have many players like him. Derrek Lee. Carlos Zambrano. Kosuke Fukodome. And of course, Kerry Wood, for whom I’m rooting like I’m rooting for no one else.

Yes, friends there’s plenty to appreciate around here. Even some Armenians. Most importantly, we can all appreciate the Cubs first win of the season, a solid 6-3 win. If Dempster can pitch like he did today, anything’s possible!

Clapclapclapclapclap…

Skip

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 3rd, 2008 at 5:37 pm and is filed under Around the MLB, College of Coaches, Cubs, Ex-Cubs, HJE Events, Skip Johnson (Jim Essian), The NL Central.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.