T79 #66: Craig Biggio “My God, Chip Caray Wants to Bang You”
Was there any greater satisfaction during the 2007 season than knowing each Cubs-Astros game crossed off the calendar meant that there was one less opportunity for Craig Biggio to torment the Cubs? For two full decades, Chip Caray’s favorite player, “The Beeg,” with his absurdly oversized jersey and his penchant for leaning into pitches made life in the National League extremely difficult on the Cubs. There’s your rational reason for hating him. Your irrational reasons? His “gritty” desire to wear a filthy uniform. The fact that he was part of “The Killer Bs.” His ability to mesmerize home plate umpires into turning a blind eye to the fact that he was leaning into pitches. His creepy eyes. His ability to play 85 different positions and be good at all of them. His sexual relationship with Chip Caray. All valid reasons why Craig Biggio checks in at Number 66 on The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time.
Biggio was signed by the Houston Astros as the 22nd overall pick of the 1987 draft. Biggio rocketed (Har dee har!) through the Astros’ minor league system, and broke in with the big club in 1988, appearing in fifty games and putting up a .211/.254/.350 line. What did he do against the Cubs in that brief call-up? Oh, only went .333/.333/.833. In his first at-bat against the Cubs, on only the second pitch a Cubs pitcher flung in his direction, Biggio launched a 10th-inning, go-ahead, pinch-hit solo home run in a game the Astros would eventually win.
That at-bat was a microcosm of the whole of Biggio’s Major League career, the majority of which he spent pestering the Cubs. In his career, he hit more home runs (34), drew more walks (118), and scored more runs (176) off the Cubs than any other team he faced. He drove in 109 runs off the Cubs, second only to his 131 off the Cardinals. He also stole 32 bases off Cub batteries, second only to the 51 he stole off Montreal/Washington. His 7 triples against the Cubs were second only to his 8 off the Rockies. The guy was such a pain in the Cubs’ ass, they were forced to intentionally walk him 12 times in his career, more than any other team did. Biggio particularly liked hitting at Wrigley. Twenty of his 34 home runs against the Cubs came at Wrigley, where he put up a career .275/.366/.475 line.
To further feed the fire of Biggio hatred, he, along with Jeff Bagwell, was the face of the despised Astros organization for twenty years. He was one of those “old-school” loyal guys who you would love to have on your team, but who you hated to see step up to the plate against you. When he was moved from catcher, to second base, to outfield, and back to second base, not once did he bitch. Goody-two-shoes bastard. I can’t help but respect you, Craig Biggio, but God damn I’m glad you’re gone.
Why You Should Hate Him: Let’s face it. The entire 2004 Cubs season was a kick in the balls, as the Cubs pissed away a playoff spot in the last week of the season. So it is tempting to cite a late-June matchup between the Cubs and the Astros with Clement taking on Clemens. Biggio hit a leadoff home run to get the Astros on the board. When the Cubs came back to tie it, Biggio launched another one leading off the top of the seventh inning. Michael Barrett, of all people, tied it back up in the bottom of the eight with a home run of his own before Carlos Beltran put the Astros up for good in the top of the ninth with a solo shot. That game was pretty annoying.
But I don’t think a game encompasses Biggio’s annoyingly pesky nature quite like this one. Biggio was all over the box score in that early 1996 matchup between the Cubs and the Astros at the Astrodome. After singling in the third, Biggio was along for the ride as Jeff Bagwell launched a three-run homer to put the Astros up 4-0. In the fifth, Biggio walked, advanced to second on a single, and then took third as part of a double steal. There are few baseball moments more embarrassing than getting depantsed on a double steal with a former catcher taking third. The Cubs battled their way back and took a 7-4 lead in the game with a three-run homer by Sosa and a grand slam by Ryno. After Biggio singled in the seventh, stole second, and was stranded there, he came on with a runner on and two outs in the bottom of the ninth and the Astros still down 7-4. Of course, he launched a two-run shot to centerfield off Turk Wendell to bring the Astros within one run. Of course the Astros tied the game later in the inning. And of course they won the game in the tenth on a walkoff John Cangelosi base hit to drive in Ricky Gutierrez.
Did You Know? Biggio currently coaches baseball at St. Thomas High School in Houston, Texas. The school had to double the athletic budget to cover the increased cost of pine tar and MRIs.
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Comments
Jon ” I can’t help but respect you, Craig Biggio, but God damn I’m glad you’re gone.”
My sentiments exactly.
So glad to see this series resurrected.
PenFoe Even in the great 20K game, he still managed to only K once and to get HBP’d.
Will. Not. Miss.
http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/CHN/CHN199805060.shtml
Andy Just because he said “hi” to Chip Caray behind the batting cage once, Chip felt the need to verbally felate him for hours at a time during every Cubs-Astros game from there on. Guh.
Mike N. His two (at least) face plants on Tal’s Hill at MMP against the Cubs when he briefly played center are what I’ll remember.
Connor Right now at an open mic night at some bar in some posh suburb, Chip Caray is dedicating “The Man Who Sold the World”, tearfully, to the memory of Biggio. He has misidentified it as a Nirvana song that David Bowie once covered. He has played every one of the opening chords out of tune. He is mumbling soulfully because he can’t remember most of the words. The bar is so humid that his sweater vest is beginning to curl up at the bottom. In the corner of the same bar, stumpy, scrappy Biggio is shooting pool with his offhand, really hamming it up when he misses a shot, in the early stages of hustling the patrons out of their paycheques.
JackB Watched the Kerry wood 20K game recently and was struck by how much bigger Biggio’s arm guard was back in those days. You could shoot him on the arm and not get flesh with that thing on. I am so glad he fucking retired. I hated his guts with a passion, but I did respect him. He was a scrawny little shit who played the game the right way. Sadly enough, we need more Craig Biggios in the game. His loyalty to the Astros always impressed me, even if I wanted to break a bat over his pinetar covered head. You oughta get some kind of award for either using the same helmet every season, or for being so unbelievably filthy that you destroy the logo on every new helmet they give you.
CT
bocaj
StPatrick
TDubbs
BigFlax
pest. glad that he is gone