Say Hello to Your Nightmare Roster

Laugh…

I have Ankiel on my team. Assuming he survives the season you have no chance.

Angry Mike

Pitching is going to be huge in this league, and I have a hard time believing that anyone can out-suck my starting staff.

Well, some of the staffs are worse than yours, but none of them are “better” when viewed through the point system.

Check this out, and know I was outdone (by “Erie’s…”)

C Ivan Rodriguez
C AJ Pierzynski
1B Alex Gordon
2B Nick Punto (a true hammer in this format)
3B Ryan Zimmerman
SS Tony Pena
OF Craig Monroe
OF Melky Cabrera
OF Bill Hall
UT Rafael Furcal
UT Josh Barfield
BN Korey Patterson
BN David Eckstein (a sentimental “mascot” pick at 19)

and here’s the real money:

SP Adam Eaton
SP Jose Contreras
SP Matt Chico
SP Paul Byrd
P Jamie Moyer
P Miguel Batista

Note that all the pitchers are innings-eaters, with only Eaton and Chico below 189.

This will be a whole lot more fun than picking good players. Neifiball rules!

Wait. Seriously? How’d I miss this?

Mine will out-suck yours. I went with middle infield and pitching early, then filled in the rest. Missing out on the high-value OFs will be more than made up by catching “real” MLB starting pitchers who do not prevent runs. Middle infield was the area most valuable for guys who don’t contribute to creating runs. Did anybody notice how AL Central heavy all the good lineups are?

I present Zimmer’s Metal Plate

C Ronny Paulino
C Rob Bowen
1B Mike Lamb
2B Ronnie Belliard
3B Andy Laroche
SS Omar Vizquel
OF Juan Pierre
OF Shelley Duncan
OF Maron Anderson
U Jose Vidro
U Adam Laroche
BN Rob Mackowiak

SP Mark Prior
SP Joel Pineiro
SP Shawn Chacon
SP Mark Mulder
P LaTroy Hawkins
P Scott Linebrink
BN Jorge Sosa

That’s right. TWO Laroches.

And whoever is “Expos” and “Partyboy”, nice job ranking your players. Getting all of that blue chip talent like ARod and Jake Peavy will only ensure a lousy season for you. Go suck!

I missed the damn draft, and my team is probably better than mediocre. I did remember to switch the top 150 players into the “do not draft” area, but I still think my team is too good.

No Brett Tomko?
He’s the early Vegas favorite for League MVP.

Hiroki Kuroda for Rookie of the Year.

Let the battle of the tards commence.

I’m pretty happy where Rubby’s boys are sitting, too, gentlemen:

C Paul Lo Duca (Was - C)
C Michael Barrett (SD - C)
1B Mark Loretta (Hou - 1B,2B,3B,SS)
2B Alfredo Amezaga (Fla - 2B,3B,SS,OF)
3B Alberto Callaspo (KC - 2B,3B,SS,OF)
SS Chris Gómez (Pit - 1B,2B,3B,SS)
OF Jay Payton (Bal - OF)
OF Mark Teahen (KC - 1B,OF)
OF Willy Taveras (Col - OF)
Util Yuniesky Betancourt (Sea - SS)
Util Omar Infante (Atl - 2B,3B,SS,OF)

SP Liván Hernández (Min - SP)
SP Matt Morris (Pit - SP)
SP Dontrelle Willis (Det - SP)
SP Paul Byrd (Cle - SP)
P Scott Olsen (Fla - SP)
P Kevin Millwood (Tex - SP)

BN Jamey Carroll (Cle - 2B,3B,SS)
BN Miguel Batista (Sea - SP)

Versatility matters, chumps. And I’ve got it in spades.

Pitching is going to be everything. You’re certainly looking good in the department, but I think College of Idiots and I should both give you a run for your money.

Actually, it doesn’t matter at all since you only have enough batters for just the batting spots.

What is Jamey Carroll, chopped liver?

Point being…

a) Roster moves are easier. Should some of these guys up and overperform, I can bench/drop them and not have to worry about having to dredge up guys who qualified for a particular position.

b) Trades ought to prove easier for the same reason.

c) Most importantly, though: ABs matter, but may prove hard to come by for shitty players. Versatile guys get more opportunities for ABs, even when they find themselves in the cellar of the depth chart.

But, honestly… it’s gonna be all about pitching anyways.

Dude speaks the truth…

One would hope.

OK; Read ‘em and weep.

Yorvit Torrealba
Kurt Suzuki
Dan Ortmeier
Esteban German
Adam Everett
Cesar Isturis
Mark Kostsay
Kevin Frandsen
Brian Anderson

Carlos Silva
Garrett Olsen
Adam Lowen
Anthoney Reyes
Mark Buehrle
John VanBenschoten

It’s not Neifi Ball, but if anyone’s interested, I have a Yahoo league that needs some managers. I totally overestimated the level of interest at my new job. So far I’ve only got four teams in a ten team league. I’d like to at least get four more teams involved. It’s head to head scoring, pretty simple stuff.

The league ID is 101718 and the password is tommy. Feel free to sign up.