Can You See Me, Carlos? I’m Pointing at My Balls.
Did anyone else catch the fact that the day after everyone at HJE and Desipio was mocking Cubs “ace” Carlos Zambrano for his frosted tips, he dyed his hair back to brown? Coincidence? I doubt it.
It’s been a day since Zambrano walked off the mound after another horrible outing to a loud chorus of boos from the Wrigley faithful. As Zambrano walked off the field, he pointed to his ear and nodded as if to say, “Carlos Zambrano knows that Carlos Zambrano is the worst pitcher in the starting rotation right now.” After the game, Zambrano went off on the fans.
Zambrano said:
I don’t accept the fans were booing me. I don’t understand that. I think these are great fans of baseball, but they showed me today they just care about them. That’s not fair.
When you’re struggling, that’s when you want to feel support from the fans. I don’t accept it. I just pointed to my head because I will remember it. The great moments of my career will come.
You see this, Carlos? This is me pointing at my balls. Go ahead and remember them. Most of us allegedly selfish fans are making five goddamn figures a year. We spend upwards of $100 to come out and watch you do your job, which you only work, at the most, three hours at a time, 33 days out of the year. And you get paid EIGHT goddamn figures to do your job. In case you’re not good at math, that’s probably about 250 times the salary than most of us selfish meanies make. Most of us are lucky to be able to afford to take the time off work to come watch you play the game we all adore. A lot of us work weekends and late nights just so we can take off early to watch you pitch.
And you know what? You’ve pitched like fucking shit for over a month, and we didn’t say shit about it. You signed your massive contract for more money than most of us would ever dream of having, and you laid a huge fucking egg during a CRITICAL month for the Cubs. You deserved booing long before you got it, Carlos.
You want support? Perhaps if you didn’t act like an over-excited imbecile all the time, showing up your teammates when they make a bad play and zooming off the mound after routine outs, we self-centered fans would be a bit more supportive of the turds you’ve been laying on the mound. Maybe if you wouldn’t have selfishly run through Mike Quade’s stop sign and gotten thrown out at the plate with no one out yesterday, we wouldn’t have booed so mercilessly.
As it stands, “Big Z,” I’m sick of your act, I’m sick of your mouth, I’m sick of watching you swing for the fences every pitch like you’re Babe goddamn Ruth, and I’m sick of your horrible pitching. I would have booed your underperforming ass if I had to watch your fifth straight loss in this pennant race, too.
From all accounts, I’ve heard Zambrano is a nice guy, a good dad, and a good teammate. And he was contrite about his comments. But I got enough friends.
Put up or shut the fuck up, Zambrano.
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Comments
Jack Finally someone says it. Thank you, BK.
I’ve been against Z since the Barrett fight, i was against the contract. He has never proven to be an ace. just an asshole.
TDubbs Everyone will be ready to get on their knees and blow him in two weeks when he wins a couple starts in a row again, and he’s jumping around and yelling and fist pumping. Except then it will be him showing how much he cares about winning and everybody will love him again. It’s fact. It’s science. You’ll see.
Jack I love the guy, but he’s gone up his own ass the last month. I hope he pulls out of it and he did seem contrite, but I think I’ll hold off on buying that Zambrano jersey any time soon. I’ve always supported El Toro Loco, but I agree. It’s time to let his pitching speak louder than his words. I don’t care if he strikes out every single at bat for the rest of the season, so long as he starts pitching like he’s capable of again. Stop trying to be the ultimate player, start being a team player, and worry about what happens on the mound. If you get a base hit every other start, that’s gravy. Most pitchers know this and Zambrano needs to know it too. My hope is that he really meant what he said and he presses the reset button again and we see the real Carlos finally show up. I only hope the whiny little bitch we saw the other day isn’t the real Carlos.
Bad Kermit TDubbs, it’s going to take a long while for Z to get back in my good graces. If God forbid the Cubs miss the playoffs by a game or two this year, Zambrano is going to be more to blame than pretty much anyone else on this team.
TDubbs I agree with that. BUT, if (and hopefully when) he throws two or three gems in a row and propels the Scrubs into the postseason, I don’t want to hear how much you love his weiner.
bocaj I love how you throw in there, in the end, that he may not be that bad of a guy… I don’t think he’s that much of an asshole either, just an hugely overgrown baby with a golden arm…
CT Am I the only one who thinks it’s kind of funny that Zambrano thought the fans love for him was predicated on something other than his performance? And as dumb as his comments were, they’re not that shocking. The guy has been cheered for acting like an asshole since he got here. If you spoil the child, can you really be shocked when he turns out to be a brat?
Flem Good stuff, Kermit. I think Z will turn it around, but maybe I’m just blinded with rage over Will Ohman still being on the team. It makes no sense. I’m pretty sure it’s going to end with some type of “three drunken Cubs fans are in custody after taking matters into their own hands” situation where Ohman is beaten in a parking lot, followed by vows of reprisal from the Frog People, of whom Ohman is lord and master.
Bad Kermit Seriously, why IS Ohman still on this team?
And, CT, I totally agree with you. Along those lines, I liked how Len and Bob pointed out how Cubs fans booed Santo and Jenkins for underperforming. And both of those guys had some unlikeable characteristics which were forgiven because they performed. Shit, all Carlos has to do is look back 3 years and realize that Cubs fans put up with Sosa’s bullshit circus act for as long as he was performing. Once he couldn’t catch up to a chest-high 88-m.p.h. fastball, his nonsense got really old really quickly.
Let’s hope Carlos doesn’t prove himself to be the pitching equivalent of Sosa.
al *clap* clap* clap* well put BK.. especially the part about “Most of us are lucky to be able to afford to take the time off work to come watch you play the game we all adore. A lot of us work weekends and late nights just so we can take off early to watch you pitch”
ilrnr2910 The sight of Will Ohman’s face sends me into a homicidal rage blackout.
He sucks in August, and so when the roster expands he magically reappears in September? WTF? Why not Samardzija (suh-MARD-juh) or ANYONE ELSE BUT OHMAN f@#$ing up the bullpen AGAIN … God
Bad Kermit That’s a good question. Why not call up Samardzija? He had good enough numbers in his first full year (even after a bad start), he’s a big kid, and he could give you an emergency start if you needed one. He’s on the 40-man, and even if he weren’t, do the Cubs plan on Neil Cotts ever doing anything with the organization? I doubt it.
I’m starting the “Shark for Starter in 2008″ campaign now.
Jack Two games in a row and I have to see that left handed piece of shit. Fuck the matchups at this point. Even my wife knows will Ohman can’t get anybody out and she’s barely paying attention. On the plus side, that kid Hart looked really sharp once he got over his first batter jitters. Cost us a run, but I’d like to see Hart again. He’s certainly a better option than Ohman at this point, but hell, Kermit’s a better option than Ohman right now. I’d even let Trammell go out there for an inning if it meant I didn’t have to see Ohman’s sweaty ass out there.
Mike D. ” If God forbid the Cubs miss the playoffs by a game or two this year, Zambrano is going to be more to blame than pretty much anyone else on this team.”
If that happens, Zamrano will have pitched his last game as a Cub, especially if he, himself, continues to tank in September. He will basically be forced to waive his no-trade clause since the whole relationship with the fans will have been permanently poisoned. For his sake, he better pitch this team into the playoffs, otherwise, he has sealed his fate a la Lee Elia in ‘83.
Bad Kermit He’s certainly a better option than Ohman at this point, but hell, Kermit’s a better option than Ohman right now.
Heyyyyyyyy. I am left-handed, Hendry, if you’re interested.
Ty Griffin We don’t give a monkey penis with AIDS what you think Carlos! (I am trying to get this phrase in the common vernacular).
CT
bocaj
BigFlax
StPatrick
TDubbs
I completely agree BK. as it stands right now, if the cubs win this thing, it will be in spite of Big Z instead of because of him.