A Message From Lou: Good Call, Crater Face

Posted by Sweet Uncle Lou
August 27, 2007

I told Trammell he was mad to try it.Whoa, whoa, whoa. I wake up this morning to hear a lot of people grumbling about how I called for a hit-and-run with no one out, one of our most patient hitters at the plated, and two on in the 9th inning of a 5-4 game yesterday. You know, sometimes a manager just needs to step up and say those two words that the fans want to hear, even if it’s tough for the manager to say them:

Blame Trammell.

Look, in the 9th inning when Kendall didn’t get that bunt down, I said to myself, “Lou, you handsome, well-hung genius. Let’s let Kendall swing away and see if he can’t get himself on base. As long as he doesn’t hit into a double play, we probably still have a runner in scoring position with one out.”

And then, Mr. Proactiv came over and started gabbing in my good ear. “Lou,” Trammell said, his eyes flashing wildly in the Arizona sun. “Lou, you have to call a hit-and-run right here.”

“Are you stupid, Moon Head?” I replied. “We already have a runner in scoring position with the top of the lineup coming up.”

“That’s just it,” Golf Ball said, kicking a golden retriever puppy which had wandered into the dugout, starving and looking for food. “It’s just crazy enough to work!”

“You’re the only thing crazy around here,” I retorted, feeding the puppy some raw meat I found in Ward’s locker, my back temporarily turned to Braille Face.

And that’s the last thing I remember.

Trammell must have gotten his hands on a bat, because I felt a horrible thud on the back of my head and heard a sickening crunch as the dugout floor rushed up to meet me. As my vision began to blacken, I was able to roll over and see Trammell giving the signal for the hit-and-run. After that, I lost consciousness and woke up an hour after the game in the girls’ locker room at Arizona State.

Four hours later, I emerged from the locker room and stumbled back home, only to find that we’d lost the game after Trammell’s idiotic call.

So don’t blame me that we’re only 1.5 games up on the Brewers. Blame Trammell.

Cubs

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