It doesn’t take too much convincing to get a Cubs fan to hate a guy who spent the majority of his career in either a White Sox or a Mets jersey. Add in the fact that the Texas hero of lovable Cub Kerry Wood took it upon himself to give Robin Ventura a good old-fashioned country how-do-you-do. Then take into account Ventura’s .848 career OPS against the Cubs, and his 9 home runs and 29 RBIs in only 37 career games against the North Siders, and Ventura checks in at #76 on the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time.

If there is something cooler than watching a punk 25-year-old take a beating from a guy more than 20 years his senior, I don’t want to see it. Actually, I lied. I do want to see it. Send me the video, if you have it. Ventura’s “charging” of the mound against Ryan was just about the fastest Ventura ever moved in his career. His charge into the “most embarrassing baseball beatdowns” hall of fame was even faster.

Ventura was drafted by the Chicago White Sox in 1988. He made his first appearance with the Sox in 1989, and spent his first 10 Major League seasons as a poster child for the meth heads. Ventura wore #23, and the mouthbreathers who cheered him would have you believe that he wore is just as well as the infielder who wore #23 on the other side of town. They would be wrong.

While Ventura piled up some nifty career numbers in his 16 seasons, the only time he truly earned his #23 was against the Cubs. While Ventura’s career .239 average against the Cubs doesn’t turn many heads, much of the low average can be attributed to bad luck. Ventura’s BAbip against the Cubs is an incredibly unlucky .221. Despite the low average, Ventura has managed to put up an .848 OPS against the Cubs, nearly 50 points higher than his career OPS.

Ventura had no choice but to hit the shit out of the ball against the Cubs to the tune of a .530 SLG, since the man is the only person who has ever uttered the phrase, “I was going to go for a jog with Konerko, but I just can’t keep up with that guy.” Yet somehow Ventura once hit an inside-the-park home run in 2003 against the Atlanta Braves. The Baseball-Reference description of the play is missing some key details. It says, simply:

R Ventura Inside-the-park Home Run to CF (Fly Ball).

It should have read as follows:

R Ventura Deep fly ball to CF. CF D Bragg falls to ground with chest pains. Braves MGR B Cox jogs to CF. B Cox administers CPR to D Bragg. D Bragg recovers and is escorted off the field. Substitution: A Jones in for D Bragg. Mound visit. 48-minute rain delay. Umpire B Froemming does 50 sit-ups. Inside-the-park Home Run to CF (Fly Ball)

Ventura was so slow, he hit a walk-off grand slam during the 1999 NLCS against the Atlanta Braves, and he only got a single out of it.

Many fans believe that Ventura retired after the 2004 season. He didn’t. He’s still on the Los Angeles Dodgers, and damnit, he’ll get there when he gets there.

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Why You Should Hate Him: July 31, 1999. Sure, the Cubs won this 1999 match-up against the hated Mets, but that didn’t stop Ventura from having a monster day at Wrigley Field. Ventura went 4-5 with a double, 2 home runs, and 6 RBIs on the day in a 17-10 Cubs win. You know a guy is a killer when you have to rely on 5-RBI days out of Gary Gaetti and Jose Hernandez for a win.

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Did You Know? While Ventura’s 18 career grand slams put him in a tie with Willie McCovey for 4th on the all-time list, even more impressive is that twice Ventura racked up two grand slams in a day. On September 4, 1995, Ventura hit two slams in one game in a 14-3 White Sox rout of the Texas Rangers. Then on May 20, 1999, Ventura hit a grand slam in each game of a double header against the Milwaukee Brewers. I think the lazy bastard just didn’t want to run the bases.

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