#30: Phil “Me With Rage” Nevin
I’ll be the first to admit that putting Phil Nevin so high on The Bottom 126 is completely irrational, but GOD DAMN did I hate Phil Nevin.
Nevin dragged his rotting carcass of to the Cubs during the 2006 season to play first base after Rafael Furcal tore Derrek Lee’s arm clean off his body. How nice of him. You see, Nevin was a San Diego Padre since 1999. The Padres began proposing 50-100 Nevin trades a year starting in 2000. The pouty Nevin rejected them all, including a trade to Cincinnati for future Hall of Famer Ken Griffey, Jr. After being unwanted for about five years in San Diego, Nevin finally approved a trade to the Texas Rangers in 2005.
After all those years of resistance, Nevin must have liked the feel of the trade, as he came to the Cubs the next year in exchange for Jerry Hairston, Jr. I expect some day Nevin is going to tell his grandchildren that he was once traded for Junior. And they’ll say, “Wow! Hall of Famer Ken Griffey, Jr.?” And Nevin will glare at his grandkids and say, “No, Jerry Hairston, Jr.” And his grandkids will say, “That’s not the same Jerry Hairston who runs the tow truck company on Forest Ave., is it?” And Nevin will say, “Yes.”
I don’t know why I have so much rage for a guy who didn’t play for the Cubs long, and, when he did, wasn’t too terrible, but something about Nevin makes me as angry as this kid.
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Even despite his prissy “that trade is not good enough for me” attitude with the Padres, I was pissed off the moment the Cubs acquired Nevin. First of all, Nevin had strung together one great year in 2001 where he had displayed outstanding power, patience, and ability, followed by several broken-down years with a rapid decline in his power. Secondly, Nevin bitched about everything. He bitched when the Padres moved him from third base. He bitched every time a trade was mentioned. He bitched that “nothing happened” for so long on Lost. He bitched that people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway.
Just the kind of player the Cubs like to grab! You get paid to play baseball, dickhead. Shut up and do it.
What’s more, Derrek Lee was injured on April 19, 2006. The only replacements at first base on the roster at that time were John Mabry and Todd Walker, which is a fancy way of saying that there were no replacements at first base on the roster. It took Jim Hendry until May 31 to make the deal for Nevin, in a “What’s the f@#$ing point now?” move, as the Cubs were, at the time, 20-32.
Nevin came to the Cubs and played disinterested “I’m too good for this” baseball for 67 games, reminding me of another first baseman who had done essentially the same thing to the Cubs five years earlier. Thanks for the effort, Nevin. And button up your f@#$ing jersey. No one wants to see your sweaty chest hair, you slob.
If there needed to be further proof that Nevin thought he was too good to play for the Cubs, how about the fact that he orchestrated his own trade out of town? Toward the end of the 2006 season, Nevin sent around a note to the general managers of playoff-bound teams which read, “WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN TRADING FOR ME? [ ] YES [ ] NO”
The Twins, for some reason, were, so Nevin shipped himself off to Minnesota for minor leaguer Adam Harben. I don’t think it’s coincidence that Nevin went hitless as the Twins were swept by the A’s in the ALDS. Sweaty bastard.
Low Point: August 9, 2006. Here’s your sombrero, Phil. It’s made of gold. Nevin earned a golden sombrero in this August game up in Milwaukee against Dave Bush and the Brewers. Nevin whiffed in all four of his at-bats, including the final out of the game against Francisco Cordero as the Cubs lost 6-3. At least act interested enough to make contact, you hog.
Did You Know? In high school, Nevin was a teammate of poster child for steroid use former Major Leaguer Bret Boone. I bet they were lab partners and Boone bet Nevin $10 he wouldn’t eat his dissection frog’s liver. And I bet Nevin did it.
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Comments
There’s a German kid video where he’s yelling about the Cubs offseason moves. It’s much more appropriate and funny.
How many bombs do you think Nevin would hit in a 12-inch softball beer league? I’d say somewhere between 75 and 437.
Is he on your team, TDubbs? I’d ask him to play on mine, and then I’d bench him the whole year. Button your shirt, loser.
hmm, lets see here. Highly touted at one point or another? Check. Had some phenomenal success before coming to the Cubs? Check. Mediocre to awful as a Cub? Check. Traded for some scrub who will never see the light of a ML field? Check
yeap, I’d say that makes him B126 worthy
That kid scares me…if this was 1937, he’d be kicked out of the Hitler Youth for being too intense and crazy. I’m dying to make a “final solution” joke here, but that’s just too crass. I will say his papa should have kicked the scheisse out of him in his younger days. Go play outside, you shit! Schnell!
[...] Snort-de-snort-snort-snort: quote:Nevin was a San Diego Padre since 1999. The Padres began proposing 50-100 Nevin trades a year starting in 2000. The pouty Nevin rejected them all, including a trade to Cincinnati for future Hall of Famer Ken Griffey, Jr. After being unwanted for about five years in San Diego, Nevin finally approved a trade to the Texas Rangers in 2005. After all those years of resistance, Nevin must have liked the feel of the trade, as he came to the Cubs the next year in exchange for Jerry Hairston, Jr. I expect some day Nevin is going to tell his grandchildren that he was once traded for Junior. And theyll say, Wow! Hall of Famer Ken Griffey, Jr.? And Nevin will glare at his grandkids and say, No, Jerry Hairston, Jr. And his grandkids will say, Thats not the same Jerry Hairston who runs the tow truck company on Forest Ave., is it? And Nevin will say, Yes. [...]
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[...] the spoiled rich kid “Do you know who I am?” card? And when the cops said, “Who? Phil Nevin?” I imagine Hundley said, “Well, do you know who my dad [...]




that video is soooo fake….