Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Throw F@#$ing Strikes” Edition
You have to be kidding me. We get good starts out of Lilly and Marquis in a series where Zambrano is the third-best starter, and go 1-2 in the series? Same old shit, different day.
Oh, well. It’s a long season, and I have plenty of asses to chew. Maybe this will make you feel better:
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Thanks to the folks at Awful Announcing for pointing that out.
- Speaking of awful announcing, New York Post writer Phil Mushnick hates Joe Morgan. If you don’t know Mushnick, he is the New York version of Bruce Miles. You know. He’s competent, he’s good, and he actually writes thought-provoking articles. Mushnick has the added bonus of despising ESPN. Well done once again, Phil.
- Speaking of Miles, he painted a slightly more accurate picture of my mound visit with Dempster. Still not entirely accurate, but I think Bruce wants to keep his job.
- Before you ask me why I didn’t leave Marquis in with only 83 pitches and 1 run given up yesterday, screw you. Have you ever watched Marquis pitch? He was living on borrowed time, my friends. BORROWED. TIME.
- Meet the new suck! Same as the old suck! It’s a long season. A race, not a sprint, dude. Did I just sound like Dusty when I said that? F@#$.
- I think I’ve made it perfectly clear now that I hate pitchers. I also hate Paul Sullivan, but he didn’t include that in his article.
- If you came here looking for further evidence that A.J. Pierzynski is a little weasel, here you go. He should have stuck something useless in the way of that pitch. Like his head. Or his cock.
- MLB is compiling a list of really likable guys to “honor” Jackie Robinson by wearing his number on the 60th anniversary of Jackie’s first MLB game. Derrek Lee is wearing 42 for our team, because we don’t have any racist f@#$s on the roster.
- Yeah, we lost 2 of 3 to the shitty Reds, but at least we didn’t get swept. Stay off the roads in St. Louis, folks. As for Houston, the only safe place to stand is in front of a Brad Lidge fastball.
- What was going on with this team in the last few years? Everyone’s shitting themselves with excitement that I make my guys practice hitting the f@#$ing ball? This place is weird.
- By the way, hopefully you’re not listening to the arrogant asshole that is Colin Cowherd, but if you are, stop. He attacked the hilarious The Big Lead for no reason, and seems to have it out for bloggers (Jealous, Colin?). Plus he’s a douchetongue. For the sake of bloggers everywhere, boycott Cowherd and ESPN as much as you possibly can. Don’t give the .com any clicks, and don’t turn your radio to ESPN Radio.
Hill’s first start is tonight up in Milwaukee and then Wade Miller tomorrow. Yippee. Start sending your extra antacid and aspirin to Wrigley. It’s going to be a long season.
-Sweet Uncle Lou
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CT
bocaj
StPatrick
TDubbs
BigFlax
Lou, one thing I hope you’ve learned = Will Ohman is not for actual baseball games. Tell Jimbo to send his ass to Iowa.