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Category: Lou’s Friday Roundup (page 1 of 18)

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “That’s Right. LOU!” Edition

Well, well, well, well, well. I never really got a proper good-bye before my abrupt August departure. That didn’t bother me, but I’m sure you twerps were crying about it. I see a lot has happened since I’ve been gone. Quade got hired. Sandberg got pretend-fired. And Essian still can’t get a goddamn interview. Things are well down here in Florida. The drinks are cold, sweet, and filled to the brim with alcohol. The women are plentiful, busty, and filled to the brim with Piniella. Most importantly, the Yankees are after me. What can I say? Once a winner; always a winner. Bitches. Though I’m going to have to give George Steinbrenner a swirlie for inviting me to OLD-Timers’ Day. Whaddya mean, “He’s dead”?

Anyhow, I don’t even remember what the hell you’re supposed to do with your Roundup tips. I’m hammered.
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Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “What Happened to the Tall Fella?” Edition

Okay, so it’s more like “Today at 1:20…” but the message is still the same. Derrek Lee is no longer a Cub, but, hey, at least John Grabow is out for the season. Remember him? Remember how he pitched for a while there? Sure you do. Not a whole lot of tips to be had this week, and I can hardly blame you. It’s hard enough just watching this team. Who has time to also watch hilariously adorable videos of cats getting tickled? Well, if you have tips for next week, send them here. I’ll give them a good home.
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Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Road to Fourth Place” Edition

Fourth PlaceWell, here we are. Forty-seven games left. Each one of them more depressing than the last. Why do we go on? For the potential glory of finishing in fourth place with the highest payroll in one of the worst divisions in the National League. THAT’S WHY! Your Roundup tips are like vodka at a family party. Let us round.
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Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “I’d Rather Be Watching Shark Week” Edition

This weekend, Dusty’s Reds are in town. Unfortunately, Shark Week is ending, so what the hell am I supposed to do other than crave sea lion? Thanks for the hints as to where on the internet interesting things might lie. I am aware that the Muskbox is finally back after a loooooong hiatus. It will be taken care of. All right. Time to ruin a perfectly productive Friday.
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Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “If Only We Could Beat the Pirates and Astros” Edition

So, here’s your depressing thought of the weekend (at least before you start drinking). We’re currently 6-15 against the Pirates and Astros. If we had flipped that record and gone 15-6 against them like the rest of the MLB is doing, we would be sitting at 52-44, and a sweep of the Cardinals this weekend would put us in first place by a game. You just started drinking, didn’t you? Hey, good for you. Your tips are both interesting and baffling. Let the sad series of our last few Roundups together begin!
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Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Undefeated in the Second Half!” Edition

Hey, Marlon Byrd survived the All-Star Game, and Joey Votto is somehow pissed about that. I’ll tell you who DIDN’T survive the All-Star Game. George Steinbrenner. Seriously, he didn’t. Tips, as always, are wrapped in swaddling clothing and raised as my own. Roundup time.
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Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “You Left Work Already, Didn’t You?” Edition

I get it. You’re annoyed that I’ve been slacking with the Roundup. It’s L.A. The women are gorgeous, and I like to sleep in. Deal with it. You could always read the links on Monday and be completely unproductive at the beginning of the week instead of the end. Life has somewhat settled down, not that anyone cares, so we’ll likely be back on a semi-normal posting basis next week. That’s great news for those of you who have missed your required intake of dick jokes. Tips are appreciated as much as they can be.
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Sweet Uncle Lou is on Vacation

Sorry, gang. The so-called HJE staff is heading to the game today (WHY?) and then going out of town this weekend, so we didn’t get around to the Roundup. Our general malaise toward this team will be cured soon enough, and I’ll try to tweet hilarious stuff from the game to make up for my slackership. Have a great long weekend, everyone. GO USA!

Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Ten Wins in a Row!” Edition

Happy Crosstown “Rivalry” weekend, everyone! It’s a battle for the ages as we head to the bad side of the tracks to take on the suddenly-overachieving White Sox in what is sure to be the most exciting series since we did this series a couple of weeks ago. Your Roundup tips are the only things that make me want to wake up in the morning.
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Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Can We Score More than the U.S. World Cup Team?” Edition

Now that some of the Blackhawks hysteria has worn off, it’s time to focus on America’s pastime. THE WORLD CUP! Unless you’d rather be watching Ryan Theriot lead off, you should probably get on the soccer bandwagon. USA! USA! USA! Your blue-blooded American tips can be sent here. Some of those tips end up in Roundups like this one.
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