Hire Jim Essian

Well, well, well, well, well. I never really got a proper good-bye before my abrupt August departure. That didn't bother me, but I'm sure you twerps were crying about it. I see a lot has happened since I've been gone. Quade got hired. Sandberg got pretend-fired. And Essian still can't get a goddamn interview. ... Read More

Okay, so it's more like "Today at 1:20..." but the message is still the same. Derrek Lee is no longer a Cub, but, hey, at least John Grabow is out for the season. Remember him? Remember how he pitched for a while there? Sure you do. Not a whole lot of tips to be had ... Read More

Well, here we are. Forty-seven games left. Each one of them more depressing than the last. Why do we go on? For the potential glory of finishing in fourth place with the highest payroll in one of the worst divisions in the National League. THAT'S WHY! Your Roundup tips are like vodka at a ... Read More

This weekend, Dusty's Reds are in town. Unfortunately, Shark Week is ending, so what the hell am I supposed to do other than crave sea lion? Thanks for the hints as to where on the internet interesting things might lie. I am aware that the Muskbox is finally back after a loooooong hiatus. It will be ... Read More

So, here's your depressing thought of the weekend (at least before you start drinking). We're currently 6-15 against the Pirates and Astros. If we had flipped that record and gone 15-6 against them like the rest of the MLB is doing, we would be sitting at 52-44, and a sweep of the Cardinals this weekend would put us ... Read More

Hey, Marlon Byrd survived the All-Star Game, and Joey Votto is somehow pissed about that. I'll tell you who DIDN'T survive the All-Star Game. George Steinbrenner. Seriously, he didn't. Tips, as always, are wrapped in swaddling clothing and raised as my own. Roundup time. There are many ways to ruin a relationship. Just ask Anita. ... Read More

I get it. You're annoyed that I've been slacking with the Roundup. It's L.A. The women are gorgeous, and I like to sleep in. Deal with it. You could always read the links on Monday and be completely unproductive at the beginning of the week instead of the end. Life has somewhat settled down, ... Read More

Sorry, gang. The so-called HJE staff is heading to the game today (WHY?) and then going out of town this weekend, so we didn't get around to the Roundup. Our general malaise toward this team will be cured soon enough, and I'll try to ... Read More

Happy Crosstown "Rivalry" weekend, everyone! It's a battle for the ages as we head to the bad side of the tracks to take on the suddenly-overachieving White Sox in what is sure to be the most exciting series since we did this series a couple of weeks ago. Your Roundup tips are the only things that make me ... Read More

Now that some of the Blackhawks hysteria has worn off, it's time to focus on America's pastime. THE WORLD CUP! Unless you'd rather be watching Ryan Theriot lead off, you should probably get on the soccer bandwagon. USA! USA! USA! Your blue-blooded American tips can be sent here. Some of those tips end ... Read More