Hire Jim Essian

It's too early to tell whether or not Carlos Zambrano is a "changed man." But it's getting late enough to tell that he's pitching like a badass again. He's sporting a 1.38 ERA in 13 innings pitched this spring. More importantly, though, anger management classes haven't de-Carlosed the big goof. Carlos delayed the start of Sunday's ... Read More

Everyone who has watched Carlos Silva pitch or eat has gotten sick to his stomach. The pitching part continued today, as Silva gave up eight runs in the third inning to the Angels. Presumably, Aramis Ramirez just stood over at third base and laughed his ass off. For a franchise that didn't have any qualms about throwing actual, productive ... Read More

HT to Ned Ryerson for pointing this out to me. Because- you know. I don't actually watch baseball. Apparently everyone's most-hated Cub, Carlos Silva, had a little scuffle with most intelligent fans' most-loved Cub, Aramis Ramirez. Because everyone is mad. About four games. Of Spring Training. Mike Quade claims it's no big deal and that ... Read More

Since college, I have wanted to go to at least one Spring Training. Getting that first glimpse of professional baseball after a long Chicago winter. Scouting the local Arizona co-ed talent. Not working. Day drinking. All of these things appealed to me, and I figured a trip out to Arizona would be worth the cost ... Read More

It didn't take long for Mike Quade to start MAKING SOME WAVES! Today, he named Ryan Dempster the Opening Day starter instead of Carlos Zambrano. It's news because everyone is waiting to see how well Carlos' anger management classes REALLY worked. Is he putting on a happy face and wishing Dempster luck while just below the surface ... Read More

Ed. Note: Mike D. wrote this prior to Millar's glorious departure from the 2010 Cubs, but I just got around to posting it. Mike D. thinks it might be moot, but I say there's no worse crime against humanity than wasting a perfectly good Mike D. rant. Enjoy. Some of you may have noticed that I haven�t contributed ... Read More

For once, common sense prevails in Cubland. Kevin Millar was cut (presumably for saying "Cubbies") and Chad Tracy made the team. This is great news for the Cubs, but even better news for the American Diabetes Association. I'm going to wait until the end of the season to make my donation, just in case they do something ... Read More

Kevin Millar is still in Mesa with the Cubs. If you're a Cubs fan, this is not good. Each day Millar doesn't have a red tag in his locker puts him a day closer to wearing white pinstripes in Wrigley Field. Every time Jim Hendry opens his mouth, he shoves animal fat in it. But through ... Read More

Oh, happy day! Today is the first official day of the rest of your 2010 Cubs season. Why are we celebrating that? I don't know. Will this season be as difficult to watch as last season? Probably. Are our hopes at least down, meaning tickets will be easier to find? Hopefully. If ... Read More

Hi to the greatest group of overemployed literates this side of the San Francisco Bay! It's me, Skip. Lou sent me a quick e-mail this morning, and I thought I'd help him out: From: Lou Piniella Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 11:29 AM To: Jim Essian Subject: Roundup Essian, No, nothing new has opened up here, for Christ's sake. Hey, I've got ... Read More