The Comment of the Week comes from the Muskbox, which is a gold mine of comments from not only stupid questioners, but also the HJE faithful. This week’s comment has a little of both!





In regards to one of the Muskbox questions, Eric commented as follows:

“I was at the Cubs game Aug. 9 in Pittsburgh. In the first inning, Darwin Barney was thrown out in a rundown between third and home. What was the official scoring on that play?
– Debi C., Ashland, Ohio”

Obviously Debi C. is a pseudonym for the late Ron Santo, who was watching the game from the great beyond but missed the play.

R.I.P., Ronnie. Your inaccurate scorecards will always keep us laughing.

Well, it’s been a busy day! There was the news of Jim Hendry being fired a month ago, and there was a walkoff win for the Chicago Cubs against their biggest opponent…

THEIR OWN SELF-CONFIDENCE.

It’s a good bet that to win the Sporadic Comment of the Week competition, you should just agree with everything Kermit says, which is exactly what Idigapony did!

For being such a “neighborhoody” team owned by a “real working class family” this team sure does “fuck fans in the ass” every chance they get.

Sarcastic quotes are the only kinds of “quotes” that should ever be used. Congratulations!

Opening Day is here, gang! The Cubs have, predictably, already lost. However, one of YOU won today, thanks to Carlos Silva!





JerBear50 had this to say about Silva’s snotty departure from the Cubs:

This seems a lot like the recently dumped girlfriend who thinks she�s more of a catch than she really is, and then realizes she�s a used up hog when she can�t even get a mercy-fuck out of anyone. It�s gonna be awkward when he shows up next week with Edy�s on his face and Hiram Walker on his breath, blubbering and begging to just let him come home.

Congratulations, JerBear50! A little consolation on a miserable Opening Day!

Well, I’ll be damned. It’s the first week in a long time where HJE actually had content every day INCLUDING an entry to the T79! Things are turning around in these parts! The Comment of the Week is along that line, and it comes from our good friend blueslacker, who reminisces about the start of the T79.

I remember when the Top 79 Cub Killers feature first started�.that was back in 93 or 94, as I recall, when this was still a print zine called Tony Pena Ate My Balls. Back then, Kermit was writing it in his dorm room, printing it off on a dot matrix printer, and getting some Asian dude from his Intro to Pottery class who also worked in Admin to hastily mimeograph the intermittently printed issues. The point is I�m just so proud of all of us for getting this far, up to #48 already. At this rate, I have high hopes that my children�s children will live to see the completion of the list.

Well played, blueslacker. However, as level5 pointed out, at Kermit’s current rate of posting, the T79 will wrap up on January 3, 2015, the year after Alfonso Soriano’s contract expires! So we’ll have TWO things to look forward to!

Well, gang, I know you’ve been dying for a Comment of the Week since the last one. This comment is actually from last week, but I had to post it for a couple of reasons.





Duke Kunka says, “I live in Poland. I had to get up at 4am to watch the Cubs get swept by Arizona. I stay up till 2am to watch these games start & fall asleep by the 7th inning ( around 4-4:30 ) then watch the rest of the game the next day on MLB archives.”

Now THAT is commitment. I can barely stand watching the games when I’m wide awake. Congratulations, Duke!

Gang! It’s the first Comment of the Week in the post-Piniella era. What a time to be alive! I hope the changes around here aren’t too startling. You know Skip will always be here for you, even after that other #41 abandoned you all. It’s time for yet another weekly comment!





This week’s Comment of the Week comes from Noble White, who is THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS.

You heard it here first, and you can choose to believe it or not, but I have it on good authority that Lou deliberately avoided kicking dirt at umpires recently in order to keep his shoes clean so he�d look good in his last press conference. He was asked to do this by Ricketts and Hendry. This is why Theriot kept getting written into the one-spot, and why Zambrano got mad at all his teammates. Now Fukudome is going to step down (and move to Japan to save face), as are Ramirez , Soriano, and Z. I don�t know what players are being told now, and it won�t come out until they are gone, but winning is not the most important goal now; retiring to be with your mothers is.

Congratulations, Noble White!

Hey there, gang! It’s time for another Comment of the Week. This one is Santo-esque in its brilliance.





Blueslacker brings us this gem from the Ronversation post:

You failed to meet your contractual obligation to mention at least once what an injustice Ronnie�s exclusion from the HOF is. Way to drop the ball. Why do we ALWAYS drop the ball this way?

Well played, blueslacker.

Hey there, gang! It’s been a long time since I’ve checked in with a Comment of the Week, and we’re going to do it a bit differently today. Kermit received a couple of cryptic e-mails sent to his old “Fire Lou Piniella” address from a distressed Yankees fan. It’s hard to argue that they are Comment of the Week material.

FUCK YOU CUBS FANS YOU’RE A BUNCH OF LOSERS

That was it. That was the first e-mail. The second was slightly more eloquent.

WHEN YOUR A YANKEE YOU DON’T LOSE. WHEN YOUR A CUB YOU HAVE LOST MORE GAMES THEN THERE ARE CHINS IN A CHINESE PHONE BOOK.

NO OFFENSE TO MY CHINESE FRIENDS

LOU DO YOURSELF A FAVOR GET THE FUCK OUT OF CHICAGO. I LIVE THERE NOW AND I AM AND ALWAYS BE A YANKEE FAN. GO BACK TO 161ST AND RIVER AVE. CUB FANS ARE BIMBOS AND DICK HEADS.

LOVE YA

All you Chinese bimbos and dickheads should feel free to e-mail your responses to Annie Hudson HERE.

Hello again, gangsters! It’s been a while since the Comment of the Week. But I’m not going to apologize, because it’ll almost definitely happen again.





This Comment of the Week comes from this week’s Muskbox. I believe we have a first-time winner. Mike Fontenot in A Few Good Fontenots writes:

Because deep down, in places you don�t talk about at your Lost viewing parties, you want me on that field. You need me on that field. We use words like, �Whoops, my bad� and �You sure that was strike 3? Looked outside to me,� and �Pull my finger.� We use these words as a backbone of a life spent going through complete shit-your-pants late season collapses. You use �em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the very blanket�..oooh Theriot is making the firetruck noises again! I love when he does that!

Congratulations, MFIAFGF!

I don’t know what’s happening at all. I was minding my own business yesterday, watering my grass when a couple of idiots jumped out of a van, threw a canvas sack over my head, and kidnapped me! I woke up in a windowless, locked room with a computer called up to this idiot site. The words, “CHOOSE THE COMMENT OF THE WEEK” were written in lipstick on a mirror. So, I picked a bunch of funny ones from the Zambrano-Soriano post, because they’re all really good, I guess.

Can I go home now?

Louis DePalma:

Mike Royko once renounced his Cub fandom and became a White Sox fan, although briefly. Paul Sullivan once worked for Royko, Paul Sullivan is your good friend. What the heck does Sully do to people that he makes them quit being Cubs fans?

Bort:

I am going to tattoo this on Jim Hendry�s face. Jailhouse style.

Joe Morgan:

I haven�t watched this team enough to know whether this is a good decision or a not good decision but I can tell you that in my experience Ryan Sundberg is a bad human being who kicks puppies and was overrated as a second baseman. What this team really needs is to find some consistatncy and get back to playing smallball the way me and Tony Perez and me used to do.

I really hope “…me and Tony Perez and me…” was intentional. If it was, it’s brilliant.

Ryan Beariot:

Can we start an �I�m with CarZo� site somewhere?

Vance Law:

Don�t you all see what�s starting to happen here? Ricketts wants to move the team a la Major League.

They�re still shitty�

a girl:

Please don�t let them start stripping the clothes off a cardboard Hendry� *twitch*

What can I say? I love Major League. Congratulations to all of the excellent contributors to the Zambrano rage-off this week. You are all winners in my book! Now, can you please loosen these handcuffs and let me go home?