Now, you may not believe that a man with a mustache can do amazing things. Not only is Jim the ONLY Armenian manager to ever lead an MLB team, but his mustache has SEEN SOME SHIT. BEHOLD!
Category: Skip Johnson (Jim Essian) (page 1 of 5)
Every Cubs fan should be thrilled that Theo Epstein is wasting absolutely no time putting his stamp on the Cubs and cleaning up the lazy mess that Jim Hendry left in Chicago. Moreover, once Tony La Russa retired, it was wise of Theo to start his managerial search immediately. Barring a miraculous offseason, I don’t expect the Cubs to be competitive next year. However, Epstein now has a chance to get in a competent manager who can weather the rebuilding period of the next couple of years and actually manage the parts that Theo gives him. If that guy is Terry Francona, fine. If it’s Ryne Sandberg, okay, I trust you, Theo. If it’s dark horse candidate JIM ESSIAN, then YOU ARE THE GREATEST PRESIDENT OF BASEBALL OPERATIONS OF ALL TIME!!! I’m just glad it’s not Mike Quade.
The competency of this new front office makes me uncomfortable.
If you were looking for an excuse to get drunk on a Monday night, well, you still have about an hour and a half to tip a few in honor of Skip.
The Comment of the Week comes from the Muskbox, which is a gold mine of comments from not only stupid questioners, but also the HJE faithful. This week’s comment has a little of both!
In regards to one of the Muskbox questions, Eric commented as follows:
“I was at the Cubs game Aug. 9 in Pittsburgh. In the first inning, Darwin Barney was thrown out in a rundown between third and home. What was the official scoring on that play?
– Debi C., Ashland, Ohio”
Obviously Debi C. is a pseudonym for the late Ron Santo, who was watching the game from the great beyond but missed the play.
R.I.P., Ronnie. Your inaccurate scorecards will always keep us laughing.
Your tips are as wonderful as a pre-interview of Skip. Get on it, people.
- I despise sites that force you to click through a slideshow, but you should at least take a gander at the 10 worst signings in our history. (HT: level5) It’s pretty accurate.
- Posnanski’s list of the 14 most-dominant individual performances in sports history has an old friend on there. Or, wait. Current friend. What I mean to say is that it has Kerry Wood’s 20-K game on there. SPOILERS! Did I do that right?
- Somewhere, Lou Piniella just wrote his epitaph.
- Twelve solid old baseball cards. (HT: level5)
- Willie Bloomquist is a goll darn folk hero. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have something in my eye.
- Motion granted! (HT: David)
- Bachelor Vision! (HT: TEC)
- If you hate your kids, and it’s winter, TAKE NOTE. (HT: flannj)
- Yet another reason that the T79 is SO FLAPJACKING BRILLIANT.
- Are you taking the piss? (Did I do that right, Tonker?)
- Even George Lucas thinks the Star Wars prequels sucked.
- Dick jokes are HISTORIC, meaning hundreds of years from now, people will still be reading HJE.
- Speaking of dicks, are THEY the reason women aren’t funny? According to science, YES.
- In continuing our “manly” portion of the BROWSing, here’s how to open a beer with anything.
“Manly,” at least, except for the Corona Light.
- In honor of Futurama‘s return last night, here are seven FAKE scientists loved by a REAL scientist.
- Sully goes to the Dusty Baker school of pitcher use.
It at least makes you ask the question, “Did they get hurt because they were babied, or were they being babied because they seemed likely to get hurt?”
- You know, I was JUST writing a pilot for a sitcom about a drunk, naked veterinarian. (HT: Ned Ryerson) I say fair is fair. Now let the doberman get drunk and operate on HIM.
- TWEET OF THE WEEK: In honor of the NBA draft, THAT’S an article I would have loved to read.
If you’ll excuse me, I have to finish helping Skip update his resume. Then, I’m probably working on mine. Koyie Hill, indeed.
Yesterday marked the- Let’s just say the, uh, 34th anniversary of the birth of HJE‘s patron saint, James Sarkis Essian, Jr. As if you weren’t hungover enough from your New Year’s Eve celebrations, I can only assume that they carried over into the celebration of Skip’s birthday. HJE extends its warmest belated birthday wishes to Skip. May the cake be delicious, the candles be few, and the beer be imported.
Hey, gang! Skip here again. I understand that the Cubs officially took my name out of the running for their managerial opening and named Mike Quade the manager for 2011 and beyond.
I, for one, would like to extend the most heartfelt congratulations to Mike. It must be nice to have that “interim” tag taken off the front of your job title after you poured your guts into managing a bad team. Sure, Mike can’t grow a mustache like some other former interim managers could do (I’m not talking about Bruce Kimm). Sure, he was able to trot out Carlos Zambrano and Tom Gorzelanny while I had to pitch Mike Bielecki and Shawn Boskie. Sure, I would have preferred having a closer like Carlos Marmol rather than Dave Smith and Paul Assenmacher.
But I’m not going to whine and say I had it tougher just because the only guy who OPSed over .800 in 1991 was the OTHER guy who got passed over for the Cub job. Hell, in 1991, we thought OPS was what Naughty by Nature was “down wit.” I’m just saying Quade had four regulars with OPSes higher than .800. That must have been nice.
So, congratulations to Mike Quade. May the road always rise to meet you. May the sun not scorch your unprotected brow. May it not look weird when the wind doesn’t ruffle, well, ANYTHING on you. And may you not get unceremoniously fired 100 games into your second season with the Cubs.
So, Mike Quade is off to a pretty good start as interim manager. He’s won three games in a row and swept the mighty Nationals. Wow! I’m sooooooo impressed. What were the Nationals? 53-71 going into Monday night’s game? And they had to face whom? Livan Hernandez? Hell, that guy was practically around when I was playing. John Lannan? Jason Marquis? Ha!