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Category: Muskbox (page 9 of 12)

The Muskbox Makes it Too Easy

I kid you not. The new Muskbox image was barely altered. Yes, there was a giant amount of white space where the HJE logo now sits. I like to imagine when Carrie saw it, she let out an exasperated sigh. Anyhow, I love it, I have adopted it, and I am embracing it. I completely missed the Muskbox last week. Unfortunately for you, this week’s Box is woefully short, and I dare not ignore the shrieking masses from last week regarding Carlos Zambrano’s move to the bullpen. So, you’re going to get a bloated double shot of Muskbox. We’ll begin our journey with last week’s enlightenment. Then, we shall put our heads down and plow on through this week’s Muskbox.
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The Muskbox Somehow Makes Tax Day Worse

It’s Tax Day, and I’m having a shitty one. What better time to turn my glower to this week’s Muskbox? None. None better time. Get your Tyler Colvin boners out, because they’re about to get a rubdown.
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The Muskbox Is a Moving Target

Carrie is getting wilier as the eternal struggle between HJE and the Inbox rages on. Her latest ploy was to move the Muskbox to Thursday night. The only explanation that can possibly be is that she knows that Sweet Uncle Lou owns Friday’s at HJE. But fear not. For every one of Carrie’s thrusts, I have a parry. Even if my parry is delayed until Tuesday, meaning I have to omit out-of-date questions about Andres Blanco. So let’s box this musk.
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A Double Shot of Muskbox

I didn’t get around to the Muskbox last week because of the emotional and mental toll from ripping Milton Bradley. I could- nay, should allow myself a break from the Muskbox madness. But that wouldn’t be fair to you. Instead, you get a double shot of Muskbox with a chaser of failure. And I die on the inside twice as much as normal this week.
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The Muskbox Has No Idea When to Fuld ‘Em

Has any player ever gotten more mileage out of a single catch than Sam Fuld has? I’ve heard Cubs fans speak less respectfully of Wilie Mays’ catch. Sam Fuld strives to be David Eckstein, only in a less-useful position. However, since Jim Hendry decided to spend $34M on an outfield of platoon players, each week we have to listen to Cubs fans worry about whether or not Sam Fuld will make the Chicago Cubs. AND YET YOU KEEP FOLLOWING THEM. Who is the real villain?
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The Muskbox Makes Bedfellows of Pitchers and Hitting Coaches

I apologize for the tardiness of the Muskbox. I was under the weather yesterday and reading this week’s Muskbox could have only made matters worse. Why? Well, because it spends a significant amount of time fretting about the hurt feelings of Ryan Theriot. And that’s- That’s- Excuse me.

/runs to bathroom
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Sixty-Seven Percent of This Week’s Muskbox is About Blogging; I SHIT YOU NOT

This week’s Muskbox has done something so amazingly meta, that it’s hard to believe it’s not on purpose. It’s a Muskbox about a blog. Now, are you ready for this? Here’s where it gets even funkier. You’re about to read another blog mock the Muskbox about being about a blog. Take a few deep breaths and get ready for this.
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Taquito from Pilsen Watches the Muskbox on The U

Our latest installment of the Muskbox commits a fallacy of the undistributed middle, frets over the career of Micah Hoffpauir, and throws a wild kegger in Vinton, Iowa! Join me, won’t you, on our weekly excursion into the minds of the mentally-impaired?
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They’re Coming to Take the Muskbox Away. Ho Ho. Hee Hee. Ha Ha.

It has finally happened. After reading the dumbest of the dumb questions submitted by Cubs fans to the Muskbox, her brain has finally snapped in twain. And now, they’re coming to take her away to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, and she’ll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats. Where she’ll sit and answer questions with trees and flowers and chirping birds. She knows she laughed, I heard her laugh, she laughed, she laughed and laughed and then she left, but now you know she’s utterly mad. In this week’s Muskbox, we’re heading to the loony bin with all-you-can-eat prescription drugs like torizine and lithium, and electric shock, and insulin.
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The Muskbox Flirts with Relevance; Gets Rejected

This week’s Muskbox accomplishes a nearly impossible feat. It’s unprecedented. An entire Muskbox passes without a single relevant question about an actual starting player on the Major League baseball club. How is that possible? Only the Muskbox knows for sure.
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