Hire Jim Essian

Who would have thought that Josh Hartnett's ugly brother would rise from Northeast Louisiana University stud pitcher to USA Olympic gold medal winner to ace of the Milwaukee Brewer rotation to #73 in the Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time? You? Okay, smart guy. Congratulations. While Ben Sheets' dominance over the Cubs has trailed off a bit ... Read More

It would have been nice if Rafael Furcal could have come out to HJE corporate headquarters to accept his award. Unfortunately for Furcal, he was chugging cough medicine all day and wasn't able to pass the Breathalyzer test required to start his car. If he were here, though, I'm sure he'd be honored to be named the #74 ... Read More

Say what you will about Steve Garvey. Can't think of anything? I'll get you started: Get bent, Steve Garvey. Get bent past ninety degrees. Get bent until your nose is being tickled by your own butt hair. And when you don't think you can bend anymore, breath deeply, Steve Garvey, and smell your own foulness. ... Read More

It doesn't take too much convincing to get a Cubs fan to hate a guy who spent the majority of his career in either a White Sox or a Mets jersey. Add in the fact that the Texas hero of lovable Cub Kerry Wood took it upon himself to give Robin Ventura a good old-fashioned country how-do-you-do. Then ... Read More

When you first glance at Aaron Harang's statistics against the Cubs, you probably think, "How did the bad guy from Darkman make the T79?" That would be an insightful first thought. And then you'd have to start thinking long and hard to remember the ONE time that the Cubs beat Harang. Despite Harang's pedestrian 4.23 ERA versus ... Read More

A lot of people would have you believe that Bill Hall is one of the greatest Cub killers in recent history. Well, he's not. If you take a look at Hall's statistics against the Cubs, they are not really any more impressive than his numbers against the rest of the league. But then you start to notice ... Read More

There have been few things in my life which have been as enjoyable as watching Cardinals "phenom" left-handed pitcher Rick Ankiel self-destruct as thoroughly as he did during the 2000 postseason. The 20-year-old Ankiel started Game One of the 2000 NLDS against the Atlanta Braves, against former Cub Greg Maddux. In the top of the first inning, Ankiel gave up ... Read More

Well, folks, for the past couple of weeks, I have been busy compiling a list of the top Cub killers of my time. What started out as around 50 Cub killers has become 79. I came up with a highly complicated, highly mathematical way of quantifying these guys' performances in comparison to their performances against the rest of ... Read More

Due to the overwhelming response to The Bottom 126, I have compiled a new list of the "Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time." The list will run similar to the way the B126 did, starting at the bottom and working my way up to the Number One Cub Killer of My Time. The guys who performed their ... Read More