Hire Jim Essian

Every time I want to punch Jim Hendry in the fleshiest part of his neck, he has an offseason like this one, in which he has unloaded both terrible Aarons. There's only one thing to do when you're all out of Aarons. Put them in the Fukudome on their way out! At first blush, this might seem ... Read More

If there's one thing Jim Hendry is terrific at doing is bidding against himself for the services of his target free agents and then grossly overpaying for them. As Dolan already pointed out, Hendry did it again with this week's signing of John Grabow. I have nothing against Grabow. He's good. Just like Mike Remlinger was ... Read More

The offseason has officially begun. As we wait in fear of how Jim Hendry can make the 2010 version of the Cubs worse than the 2009 version, White Sox fans are likely doing the same. Kenny Williams has taken an early lead on head-scratching moves, officially trading for Mark Teahen today. So, let's put our beloved Chicago ... Read More

If you watched the press conference announcing the new Cub family ownership this afternoon, you might have noticed something a little strange about the Ricketts family. That something is that THEY ALL LOOK EXACTLY ALIKE. So, let's put two of them into the Fukudome. VS. Pete Ricketts Tom Ricketts ... Read More

Ooo! A late-night Friday Night Fukudome! Why? Because we're discussing the issues of hitting coaches who just so happened to be around when their pupils turned into roided-up freaks. CONTROVERSIAL! Put the kids to bed, then come back and satisfy your bloodlust as our two competitors fight to the death in the Fukudome. VS. Rudy Jaramillo Jeff Pentland ... Read More

The ALCS begins tonight with your host, Greg Marmalard Joe Buck. As you know, Chip Caray is doing the play-by-play for the NLCS. No question, Buck is clearly the better technical play-by-play guy. How does he hold the advantage? Oh, by waiting until the play actually happens before he calls it. So I won't ask ... Read More

Is anyone else actually sort of enjoying the playoffs so far this year? After the Cubs were promptly eliminated for the last two years, you couldn't pay me to watch the postseason. This year, without the stress of knowing that the Cubs were lurking in the shadows waiting to sock us in the balls, my interest in the ... Read More

Anyone still paying attention to this team is probably aware that, after a very slow start, Jeff Baker has done a pretty incredible job with the Cubs this year. The second baseman has put up a .329/.380/.476 line in a Cubs uniform, with 19 RBIs in 170 at-bats, to boot. Last night, he had an incredible at-bat against ... Read More

With Alfonso Soriano hurt again, this Friday Night Fukudome was an easy one to invent. Who will survive the Fukudome? The midget who makes circus catches or the fatty who can rake? Why do we still care? We don't. VS. Jake Fox Sam Fuld ... Read More

Earlier this week, both Rich Harden and Aaron Heilman were claimed by other teams off waivers. Clearly, Harden is the better pitcher, and I think I can speak for most Cubs fans when I say I would love to have him back next year. However, trading Harden to a team desperate for pitching could reap a large reward ... Read More