Hire Jim Essian

I'm pretty confident that Theo Epstein is going to make the right choice for the next manager to lead the Cubs. But that's no reason you fine readers of the Friday Night Fukudome can't help him make the right choice. Because we know everything! So, who you got?

The playoffs begin this weekend, and it's time to start making our brilliant playoff picks. So, let's do that. Now. IN THE FUKUDOME. In case you want a bit of a hint, the Rays are already up 1-0 in their series. VS. Tampa Bay Rays Texas Rangers VS. Detroit Tigers New York Yankees VS. Arizona Diamondbacks Milwaukee Brewers VS. St. Louis Cardinals Philadelphia Phillies ... Read More

I took a road trip up to the Upper Peninsula this week. Along the way, I saw a couple of different gas station bathrooms. There is one bathroom layout that always confuses me. It's this one, with an unenclosed stall and a single urinal: What's the protocol here? Obviously, if I'm making a small mountain, I would ... Read More

Well, it's still Jim Hendry day, and old Jim made a few good moves during his time. No question, however, the two best moves he made were (1) trading Bobby Hill, Matt (hee hee!) Bruback, and Jose Hernandez to the Pittsburgh Pirates for Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton; and (2) trading Hee Seop Choi to the Florida Marlins for ... Read More

Your two favorite terrible Iowa Cubs both hit home runs today. Tony Campana's was an inside-the-park scamper for his first (and almost definitely last) career home run. Tyler Colvin's was a shot to right field that came just moments after Bob Brenly was saying he hoped Colvin would hit a bomb. Let's Fukudome these bastards. VS. Tony Campana Tyler Colvin ... Read More

It's a sad night for the Friday Night Fukudome. This is the first night since the inception of the Fukudome that Kosuke Fukudome is not a Cub. Though the Fukudome will live on, the other Fukudome is now forced to commit seppuku. SAD. All you dopes that were crying for Tyler Colvin, well- Be careful ... Read More

Brian Wilson made yet another of his "hilarious" appearances at the ESPYs. This imbecile is sure making the most of his two-and-a-half years of fame. His interviews are absolutely unlistenable, and now he has a TV show. Hooray! Wilson reminds me of a certain Cub pitcher who would be told at any respectable open-mic night, "Don't quit your ... Read More

It's been a while since we've been in the Fukudome. It's a dark, dark place. I haven't had much to put against other stuff. But today I do! It's simple. VS. Yes No ... Read More

It's been a long time, folks. I've missed you. And, okay, this SEEMS like a no-brainer. We're revisiting the Silva-Bradley trade. Shit has happened. It's a little bit later. Milton Bradley whipped a glass at a girl's face, which is just about the most-unacceptable thing a human man can do. However, Carlos Silva ... Read More

So help you God if you answer this VERY SIMPLE Friday Night Fukudome incorrectly. If you have to have someone read it to you, Packers fans, please do so. VS. Bears Packers ... Read More