Hire Jim Essian

If your "regular" fantasy baseball draft is coming up soon, and you have a bunch of questions about which Cubs players you should draft, what the fuck is wrong with you? But your answers are here. The theme, for the most part, is to draft Matt Garza. Mostly because he won't be a Cub for too long. That is all.

I must not do a bad enough job writing the Cubs fantasy baseball preview for Grey over at Razzball, because he once again invited you fine readers of HJE into the Razzball Leagues. The guys over there perfected the goal that Neifiball is trying to accomplish: the assemblage of the worst team of baseball everyday players possible.

If you signed up for Neifiball, check your e-mail. (1) I'm shocked how many people actually have Yahoo e-mail addresses. Is it 2001? (2) I can't tell if two of the "I'm ins" in the comments were sarcastic or not. If they weren't, we have 10 players and four dummy teams, which is perfect. ... Read More

Thanks to morpheus for reminding me that the MLB season starts in a week and that we should probably, you know, get Neifiball going some time soon. I'm stealing the setup instructions that Rudy from Razzball does so well. League Rules * 10 Team Leagues, MLB universe, uses Yahoo! position eligibility * Weekly Roster ... Read More

I know you're as excited as I am that not-meaningful baseball finally begins this afternoon. As has become the tradition over the past couple of years, we will be doing another Neifiball league. The guys at Razzball have very generously invited us to participate in their league again. They care more about their readers than I do ... Read More

If you recall last year, the fine folks at Razzball allowed us to borrow their anti-fantasy rules for the Neifiball League, to great success. At the time, I told you that you are all a bunch of stupid jerks if you don't immediately put Razzball into your feed readers and bookmarks. I don't endorse a lot of sites, ... Read More

Hi to the greatest group of overemployed literates this side of the San Francisco Bay! It's me, Skip. Lou sent me a quick e-mail this morning, and I thought I'd help him out: From: Lou Piniella Sent: Friday, April 17, 2009 11:29 AM To: Jim Essian Subject: Roundup Essian, No, nothing new has opened up here, for Christ's sake. Hey, I've got ... Read More

It's Neifiball time. Rudy from Razzball was kind enough to do the explaining for me in the below e-mail, and those guys are also going to give us space on their forums to trash talk, brag, discuss trades, and embarrass one another. As an added bonus, you guys also get to compete for a $50 Taco Bell prize! ... Read More

Gentlemen. First, I apologize for the lack of posts lately. I'm aware of the new Muskbox, and I still have something planned for pitchers and catchers having reported. Unfortunately, work wants me to do stuff, so I'm a bit backlogged. Fortunately for all of you, Rudy Gamble over at Razzball noticed that we were trying to ... Read More

Several people have asked whether or not I'm doing a Neifiball league this year. I am, and I'm trying desperately to perfect it. We had some decent results last year in the two leagues, but it was difficult getting the right settings, particularly for pitchers. Since last year was supposed to be a "keeper" year, but I ... Read More