Ex-Cubs
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “What Happened to the Tall Fella?” Edition
Okay, so it’s more like “Today at 1:20…” but the message is still the same. Derrek Lee is no longer a Cub, but, hey, at least John Grabow is out for the season. Remember him? Remember how he pitched for a while there? Sure you do. Not a whole lot of tips to be had [...]
Despite Diving for Baseballs, Lee Is Still Somehow Traded
Despite Lou Piniella’s alleged mandate that all Cub infielders be wrapped in bubble wrap, surrounded in safety foam, and forbidden from diving for baseballs, Derrek Lee somehow managed to play his hardest, GET INJURED, and be traded to the Braves yesterday along with cash for three more young pitchers. Because the Cubs have a lot [...]
Friday Night Fukudome: Fontenot vs. Theriot
After this week’s trade of Mike Fontenot to the San Francisco Giants, the Cubs have rid themselves of both members of the stupidly-named “Cajun Connection.” Which former LSU double play teammate will you miss most of all, Scarecrow? VS. Mike Fontenot Ryan Theriot
Time to Fire Up My Troops
Fan club members, Shoutboxers, Cubs fans and others: It’s time to mobilize. We’re halfway to our dream of installing me back in the Cubs dugout. Lou Piniella has announced his retirement effective at the end of the season. I wish him well in Tampa. But I wish myself better in Chicago. Obviously, a lot of [...]
Where in the World is Carlos A. Zambrano?
Well he pitches ’round the world, and he acts like a vagina. He gets pissed off at his teammates when they don’t drop to their knees. He vanished from the team after acting like a whiner. Tell me where in the world is Carlos A. Zambrano? Drill Jim Edmonds in his anus, make Michael Barrett [...]
Let’s Talk About How Much We Hate Steve Stone
When I was growing up watching Cubs games with Harry Caray and Steve Stone in the booth, I’m ashamed to admit that I honestly thought Stone was a baseball genius. It blew my mind that Stone could prognosticate which pitch would be thrown in a certain situation or whether or not a batter would try [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Zambranodrama” Edition
Hey, did you notice how me and Carlos have what us Spaniards might call a relationship that has gone “frio”? We barely speak anymore, he doesn’t return my phone calls, and he’s only pitched 7 2/3 innings since he was moved to the bullpen. So, what gives? More importantly, does anyone care? It’s been a [...]
Sweet Uncle Lou’s Friday Roundup: The “Screw Fisted Foul” Edition
So, Dolan and Kermit start a new blog and don’t invite me and Skip? FUCK. YOU. GUYS. The rest of you know where to find the only GOOD writers in the baseball blogosphere. Right here. At HJE. And those writers are me and Skip. Don’t send your Roundup tips to Fisting Fouls, or whatever it’s [...]
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #49: Luis “Long” Gonzalez
Oh, what the 2001 Cubs season might have been if the Cubs hadn’t allowed outfielder Luis Gonzalez to walk at the end of the 1996 season. Sosa wouldn’t have had to single-handedly attempt to carry the Cubs into the playoffs. Gonzalez’s 57-home run, 142-RBI season would have paired nicely with Sosa’s unbelievable campaign. But, alas, [...]
The Top 79 Cub Killers of My Time #50: Scott Downs “Syndrome”
If there’s one thing that’s absolutely infuriating about the Cubs, it’s their mystifying inability to hit left-handed pitching. No, scratch that. If there’s one thing that’s absolutely infuriating about the Cubs, it’s their 102-year championship drought. Number two is the other thing with the left-handers. A couple of offseasons ago, when Jim Hendry decided to [...]
BigFlax
PenFoe
StPatrick
CT
CactusMcHarris