Hire Jim Essian

There are few things that could kill the natural buzz I have enjoyed while watching the surging Chicago Cubs whittle the Milwaukee Brewers' lead in the NL Central to a slim half game. The turd pictured to the right represents all of them. Allow me to introduce you to John Murray, an alleged "Cubs fan" who clearly failed to successfully market ... Read More

Look, let's not get all "doom and gloom" over last night's beatdown. If we go ahead and win 2 of 3 for the rest of the season, we're going to be in great shape. Let's hope last night's game woke up the Cardinal bats for their series against the idiots from the North. And let's not forget ... Read More

The Cubs have called up Matt Murton and Rocky Cherry from AAA Iowa. As always, as soon as HJE hears of the corresponding roster moves, we will let you know. I'm hoping for Cedeno to a pit of fire, and Eyre to the bottom of Lake Michigan. ... Read More

You might be wondering about that sound you heard from up north when you woke up this morning. That sound that started out low, and then started to grow. "Is that- Is that 'Patience'?" you thought to yourself. Nope. That's the sound of Brewers fans whistling past the graveyard on their way to work this morning. ... Read More

Just as the party was just getting started, Bad Kermit has returned. I'm not sure what he has in store for me now that he has seen the damage -- the 60 days worth of guest posters seem to upset him and Sweet Uncle Lou the most. For now, it means my "humor" will be replaced by Kermit's humor and Sweet ... Read More

While Bad Kermit is desperately racing home so he can reset the passwords on HJE, I think we need to visit a comment from one of HJE's finest readers, ilrnr2910: Can I say how much I like this new "college of coaches" approach to HJE! Kermit and Sweet Lou are nicely supplemented by everyone who has been contributing lately, I think ... Read More

The Cubs have called up right-handed hitting catcher/outfielder/first baseman Jake Fox. I will update as soon as I know the move which cleared the space for Fox. UPDATE: Pre and BananaHands are reporting that Bwuce Levine says a deal sending Izturis out of town is almost done. UPDATE TWO: BananaHands heard Bwuce say that Izturis has been traded to ... Read More

While Bad Kermit retreats to the pond or lily pad, or wherever it is that frogs go, I will help fill in for him at HJE! My name is T.J. Brown, and I post occasionally at my rarely-updated blog. I wanted to introduce myself to you early enough because insanity could ensue this weekend, and I'll be too busy bitching about ... Read More

Hey, you guys didn't think we were going to win out the second half, did you? Look, we lost one game last night. Sure, Kendall was pretty godawful both at the plate and behind it, and Will Ohman is yet another step closer to me rubbing a culture of flesh-eating bacteria on his jock strap, but it was ... Read More

CHICAGO--ESPN reports that the Cubs have acquired catcher Jason Kendall from the Oakland Athletics for catcher Rob Bowen. Kendall is struggling this season, batting only .226 with a .261 OBP. However, Kendall is a lifetime .298 hitter with a .375 OBP. The Cubs also sent a minor league player to the A's. HJE will have the ... Read More