Hire Jim Essian

Is it me, or are Carrie Muskat's mailbags getting worse? If I didn't suspect that she were the one actually choosing these questions, I'd be dangerously close to feeling sorry for her. As it stands, she has compiled an All-Star list of horrible questions for this week's Mailbag. Seriously. This batch of questioners is the Dream ... Read More

There isn't a chance that the Muskrat can make it through this week's mailbag without saying many stupid things. It's about a Japanese player with a sexually suggestive name. COME ON! The Q&A is in quotes (Carrie's answers in bold), as always, but this week I'm letting Lou crank out the responses. Lou's comments are quote-free. Japanese ... Read More

Just when you think there's nothing left to write, The Muskrat does everyone a favor and breaks out the old mailbag. Her Q&A is in quotes with my comments interspersed. Why does GM Jim Hendry constantly wait to make deals at the last minute? Brian Roberts would be an unbelievable acquisition for this team, but if Hendry is going to ... Read More

Carrie Muskat's latest mail bag comes with the added bonus of this sexy Jim Hendry picture. When you're done, feel free to clean up and move on to the Q & A in quotes, with my comments outside of quotes. This one is a doozy. Are the Cubs going to make any big moves soon? We know what we ... Read More

Carrie Muskat is an endless font of hilarity, as evidenced by her latest mailbag. Come on. She's not even trying any more. The Muskrat's Q & A is in quotes. My commentary is quote-less. Could you please help me understand the Jones-for-Infante trade? I know Jones never starts out hot, but he seems to finish that way. ... Read More

First of all, I apologize for the scarcity in posting (including the relative brevity of the next few posts). My hellish week and a half is almost over, so I'm sure I'll be back to a more regular schedule tomorrow. Secondly, wow. There has been a lot of dumbassery in the media since I've been posting less ... Read More

I saw on a different blog (I can't remember which, and I'm too lazy to look) a writer making up their own answers to the questions asked in the Cubs Mailbag. That's fun. You know what's more fun, though? Making up questions for The Muskrat's answers. Carrie, wouldn't it be hilarious if the Cubs traded Mark Prior to ... Read More

Chicago is a huge sports market with a rabid fan base, long-tenured, traditional teams, and a history of classic sports tales, for better or worse. So, why the hell are Chicagoans still putting up with horseshit writers like Rick Morrissey? In Morrissey's latest nonsensical column, he defends Dusty Baker, of all people. He's in quotes, but I ... Read More

You could point to a lot of things that didn't go right for the Cubs this season. Carlos Zambrano taking three months off. Half of Jason Marquis' starts. Derrek Lee's complete lack of power for the first half of the season, or Cliff Floyd's and Jacque Jones' lack of power all year. A terrible start to ... Read More

Welp, it looks like I'm going to have to make fun of more people who actually get paid to write fact-free, mythical nonsense. This latest idiocy is from esteemed steemed shitty ESPN writers Jim Caple and Eric Neel. You know the drill. Their nonsense surrounded by quotes, curses, and wizard's potions. My retorts surrounded by reality. By ... Read More