Hire Jim Essian

The Cubs are currently in the process of securing a replacement for the late Ron Santo, and several candidates have emerged. Before I get to nakedly campaigning for good ole� #53, let�s first explore the �other� candidates. Though Pat Hughes� Ford Frick-worthiness for Cooperstown was likely cemented thanks to the visibility he enjoyed mostly setting up Santo for fifteen years, ... Read More

Ed. Note: Mike D. wrote this prior to Millar's glorious departure from the 2010 Cubs, but I just got around to posting it. Mike D. thinks it might be moot, but I say there's no worse crime against humanity than wasting a perfectly good Mike D. rant. Enjoy. Some of you may have noticed that I haven�t contributed ... Read More

It's bad enough when the only people who are sucking the enjoyment out of the Cubs for me are other idiotic Cub fans, but now I can't help but get sucked in to the cesspool of unexamined mental unhealthiness that is Sox Nation? First there was Mark Buerhle's perfect game, which deserves acclaim, naturally. But then the Manolantern poses an ... Read More

No, this is not an argument against Ron Santo�s inclusion into the Hall of Fame. Only a true idiot�or an insecure weirdo like Mike Schmidt�would make such an argument. Santo has long been deserving, and his exclusion is worthy of an absurdist drama. It is, however, this very debate that has wound its way through the years ... Read More

Call me arrogant. Call me naive. Accuse me of shaking my fist at the gods. But I can't help but smugly smile upon hearing the news that serial saving-children-from-burning-houses hero and future first ballot Hall of Famer Mark DeRosa has been dealt to the St. Louis Cardinals. Look, I'm not going to pretend that my dismissal of DeRosa ... Read More

Not content to simply embark on his job of covering a perenially-contending club this year, Gordon Wittenmeyer instead made the conscious decision during the offseason to lazily (and sloppily, as it turns out) hitch his wagon to the world of Milton Bradley. As Dolan pointed out, Wittenmeyer's initial strategy was to befriend Milton by painting the fanbase as racist. This ... Read More

Daryle Ward, son of Gary and object of white hot manlove around these parts, has tested the mettle of all that is right by signing with the White Sox. As I googled around to confirm my fear that the Fat Kangaroo had sold himself out to Meth Head Nation, I came across this. Keep in mind: Pete Rose Jr. left the Bears ... Read More

It's not every day a 95 year old millionaire dies and I'm sad about it, but forgive me for donning the Bob Greene/Rick Telander/Mitch Albom Maudlin Cap of Sentimentality today as I report with a heavy heart that Herman Franks passed away early yesterday. As I had described to GROTA last September--right before these cockbags got swept out of ... Read More

Regardless of what you may think about George Will's politics, it's fair to say he has always demonstrated an abundant passion for baseball. Though I would probably be considered a foul, liberal heathen by the likes of Will, I have long identified with him, not only for his appreciation for the game of baseball, but more specifically for the ... Read More

There are over three weeks until Opening Day, but the Cubs roster is mostly set. Such is life for a team enjoying period of stability that is rare for our lifetimes. There are some positions that are still up in the air--the second base spot that originally looked like an Aaron Miles/Mike Fontenot platoon is starting to look ... Read More