Hire Jim Essian

All right, the day's getting late. It's been a real great fucking day. They're really fucking behind you here(/fucking sarcasm). But I don't want this fucking day to be such a complete fucking waste of time. Uncle Lee's been watching your fucking team and he's gotta say--this is not your typical band of jobless cocksuckers. I ... Read More

Well, Roger, we all knew you were a fucking cocksucker. You've been a 'roided-up, self-centered hired gun prick for your entire career. You've played for the Red Sox and the Yankees, two of the most hated fucking franchises in all of baseball. And now, we find out that you're a fucking pedophile. Even giving you the ... Read More

All right all you cocksuckers. Mean Uncle Lee's feeling a little less "mean" today. After picking up my Dunkin Donuts morning fucking coffee and fucking apple fritter today, I'm nice and chilled-the-fuck-out. It so happened that I was offered a fucking opportunity to share some of the fucking wealth with all of you jobless cocksuckers, and so ... Read More

All right listen up you jobless cocksuckers, because Uncle Lee's only got this one day to keep you motherfuckers on the stick. Since you jerkoffs can't seem to find any way to find consistent fucking work, it's up to motherfuckers like me, in the other 85 per cent, to keep you cocksuckers entertained. I don't know what's worse--being an unemployed ... Read More