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Author: Skip (page 1 of 5)

Skip’s Comment of the Week: August 26, 2011

The Comment of the Week comes from the Muskbox, which is a gold mine of comments from not only stupid questioners, but also the HJE faithful. This week’s comment has a little of both!





In regards to one of the Muskbox questions, Eric commented as follows:

“I was at the Cubs game Aug. 9 in Pittsburgh. In the first inning, Darwin Barney was thrown out in a rundown between third and home. What was the official scoring on that play?
– Debi C., Ashland, Ohio”

Obviously Debi C. is a pseudonym for the late Ron Santo, who was watching the game from the great beyond but missed the play.

R.I.P., Ronnie. Your inaccurate scorecards will always keep us laughing.

Skip’s Comment of the Week: August 19, 2011






Well, it’s been a busy day! There was the news of Jim Hendry being fired a month ago, and there was a walkoff win for the Chicago Cubs against their biggest opponent…

THEIR OWN SELF-CONFIDENCE.

It’s a good bet that to win the Sporadic Comment of the Week competition, you should just agree with everything Kermit says, which is exactly what Idigapony did!

For being such a “neighborhoody” team owned by a “real working class family” this team sure does “fuck fans in the ass” every chance they get.

Sarcastic quotes are the only kinds of “quotes” that should ever be used. Congratulations!

Skip’s Comment of the Week: April 1, 2011

Opening Day is here, gang! The Cubs have, predictably, already lost. However, one of YOU won today, thanks to Carlos Silva!





JerBear50 had this to say about Silva’s snotty departure from the Cubs:

This seems a lot like the recently dumped girlfriend who thinks shes more of a catch than she really is, and then realizes shes a used up hog when she cant even get a mercy-fuck out of anyone. Its gonna be awkward when he shows up next week with Edys on his face and Hiram Walker on his breath, blubbering and begging to just let him come home.

Congratulations, JerBear50! A little consolation on a miserable Opening Day!

Skip’s Comment of the Week: November 5, 2010

Well, I’ll be damned. It’s the first week in a long time where HJE actually had content every day INCLUDING an entry to the T79! Things are turning around in these parts! The Comment of the Week is along that line, and it comes from our good friend blueslacker, who reminisces about the start of the T79.

I remember when the Top 79 Cub Killers feature first started.that was back in 93 or 94, as I recall, when this was still a print zine called Tony Pena Ate My Balls. Back then, Kermit was writing it in his dorm room, printing it off on a dot matrix printer, and getting some Asian dude from his Intro to Pottery class who also worked in Admin to hastily mimeograph the intermittently printed issues. The point is Im just so proud of all of us for getting this far, up to #48 already. At this rate, I have high hopes that my childrens children will live to see the completion of the list.

Well played, blueslacker. However, as level5 pointed out, at Kermit’s current rate of posting, the T79 will wrap up on January 3, 2015, the year after Alfonso Soriano’s contract expires! So we’ll have TWO things to look forward to!

Skip’s Comment of the Week: October 22, 2010

Well, gang, I know you’ve been dying for a Comment of the Week since the last one. This comment is actually from last week, but I had to post it for a couple of reasons.





Duke Kunka says, “I live in Poland. I had to get up at 4am to watch the Cubs get swept by Arizona. I stay up till 2am to watch these games start & fall asleep by the 7th inning ( around 4-4:30 ) then watch the rest of the game the next day on MLB archives.”

Now THAT is commitment. I can barely stand watching the games when I’m wide awake. Congratulations, Duke!

Open Your Mind to Quade

Hey, gang! Skip here again. I understand that the Cubs officially took my name out of the running for their managerial opening and named Mike Quade the manager for 2011 and beyond.

I, for one, would like to extend the most heartfelt congratulations to Mike. It must be nice to have that “interim” tag taken off the front of your job title after you poured your guts into managing a bad team. Sure, Mike can’t grow a mustache like some other former interim managers could do (I’m not talking about Bruce Kimm). Sure, he was able to trot out Carlos Zambrano and Tom Gorzelanny while I had to pitch Mike Bielecki and Shawn Boskie. Sure, I would have preferred having a closer like Carlos Marmol rather than Dave Smith and Paul Assenmacher.

But I’m not going to whine and say I had it tougher just because the only guy who OPSed over .800 in 1991 was the OTHER guy who got passed over for the Cub job. Hell, in 1991, we thought OPS was what Naughty by Nature was “down wit.” I’m just saying Quade had four regulars with OPSes higher than .800. That must have been nice.

So, congratulations to Mike Quade. May the road always rise to meet you. May the sun not scorch your unprotected brow. May it not look weird when the wind doesn’t ruffle, well, ANYTHING on you. And may you not get unceremoniously fired 100 games into your second season with the Cubs.

Skip’s Comment of the Week: August 27, 2010

Gang! It’s the first Comment of the Week in the post-Piniella era. What a time to be alive! I hope the changes around here aren’t too startling. You know Skip will always be here for you, even after that other #41 abandoned you all. It’s time for yet another weekly comment!





This week’s Comment of the Week comes from Noble White, who is THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS.

You heard it here first, and you can choose to believe it or not, but I have it on good authority that Lou deliberately avoided kicking dirt at umpires recently in order to keep his shoes clean so hed look good in his last press conference. He was asked to do this by Ricketts and Hendry. This is why Theriot kept getting written into the one-spot, and why Zambrano got mad at all his teammates. Now Fukudome is going to step down (and move to Japan to save face), as are Ramirez , Soriano, and Z. I dont know what players are being told now, and it wont come out until they are gone, but winning is not the most important goal now; retiring to be with your mothers is.

Congratulations, Noble White!

3-0? PFFFFFFTTTTT.

So, Mike Quade is off to a pretty good start as interim manager. He’s won three games in a row and swept the mighty Nationals. Wow! I’m sooooooo impressed. What were the Nationals? 53-71 going into Monday night’s game? And they had to face whom? Livan Hernandez? Hell, that guy was practically around when I was playing. John Lannan? Jason Marquis? Ha!
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Skip’s Comment of the Week: August 13, 2010

Hey there, gang! It’s time for another Comment of the Week. This one is Santo-esque in its brilliance.





Blueslacker brings us this gem from the Ronversation post:

You failed to meet your contractual obligation to mention at least once what an injustice Ronnies exclusion from the HOF is. Way to drop the ball. Why do we ALWAYS drop the ball this way?

Well played, blueslacker.

Skip’s Comment of the Week: August 6, 2010

Hey there, gang! It’s been a long time since I’ve checked in with a Comment of the Week, and we’re going to do it a bit differently today. Kermit received a couple of cryptic e-mails sent to his old “Fire Lou Piniella” address from a distressed Yankees fan. It’s hard to argue that they are Comment of the Week material.




FUCK YOU CUBS FANS YOU’RE A BUNCH OF LOSERS

That was it. That was the first e-mail. The second was slightly more eloquent.

WHEN YOUR A YANKEE YOU DON’T LOSE. WHEN YOUR A CUB YOU HAVE LOST MORE GAMES THEN THERE ARE CHINS IN A CHINESE PHONE BOOK.

NO OFFENSE TO MY CHINESE FRIENDS

LOU DO YOURSELF A FAVOR GET THE FUCK OUT OF CHICAGO. I LIVE THERE NOW AND I AM AND ALWAYS BE A YANKEE FAN. GO BACK TO 161ST AND RIVER AVE. CUB FANS ARE BIMBOS AND DICK HEADS.

LOVE YA

All you Chinese bimbos and dickheads should feel free to e-mail your responses to Annie Hudson HERE.