Pitchers and catchers report on February 13th. What does that mean to you? It means nothing. The 2014 Cubs MAY get within 10 games of .500 this year. But I said that last year. Because I’m an idiot. As someone who cut the cable cord last fall, the biggest story of the 2014 season is going to be whether I’m going to be able to watch Cubs games on MLB.tv. If not, I guess I’m going to complete my final metamorphosis into a full-time Twins fan. Or maybe I’m finally going to finish that novel and learn to play guitar. Or maybe I’ll just waste that time looking at memes. Who am I to judge myself?
Your tips are as appreciated as a Sochi shower curtain.
- It’s really cool the the Cubs have a scheduled doubleheader this year, but leave it to the fucking Cubs to charge two gates for it.
- Fernando Tatis had a sick Broncos burn until he looked down and realized he was still Fernando Tatis.
- That’s the bottom line ‘cuz MATT STAIRS SAYS SO.
- Somebody wants all of Tim Wallach’s baseball cards. (HT: Pre) I’m not entirely sure why, but if I’m Tim Wallach, I’m not walking alone at night past any panel vans.
- Where are the Bud beer sponsors now? That “Whassssup?” commercial really was pretty funny before everyone started quoting it. /hipster Kermit
- I really hope they found out when someone farted in a room, and he looked over at the person accusingly. (HT: Pre)
- Bill Murray is great. Duh.
- YOUR AWESOME CLIP OF THE WEEK: Apparently, Zombeavers is a real thing.