Friday Roundup: The “You Have a Blog?” Edition


Picture HT: level5

Picture HT: level5

Hello, internet friends. The end of the year is nearly upon us! The biggest story of the Cubs’ offseason so far has been the inking of doubles machine Ron Coomer to the WGN radio gig. I’m glad Coomer got the job. Not because I think he’ll be good. He may be. I don’t know. I’ve never heard the guy. But at least Todd Hollandsworth won’t be guffawing up the broadcast. I can’t wait to hear how Pat Hughes introduces him. Santo was “Cub legend.” Moreland was “former Cubs star.” Coomer must be “former Cub backup third baseman.” I wonder how many lonely, confused, blue-haired widows are going to send a very confusing fax confessing their love for the new Ron. Based on his attendance game picks, Pat is going with a cool dozen.

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  • Poor kid. Not a good name to have in this town right now. Because people are dumb, you see.
  • Great. Now the most famous person from Naperville is the dope who started the four-letter site.
  • Here’s your depressing weekly dose of whatmighthavebeens.
  • If you weren’t yet convinced that the owner of Murphy’s is a stupid asshole and you should never give him a cent of your money, here’s yet another reason. Seriously, with all the bars around Wrigley Field, why do people go to that shithole? It’s the Ronnie Woo-Woo of Wrigley bars.
  • Lock up your stray cats.
  • Sometimes, people aren’t terrible. (HT: level5)
  • It’s funny watching a drunk Vikings fan fall down, but the guy filming is as big or bigger a “fucking idiot” as the faller. There’s a kid right in front of you, you stupid asshole.
  • Bears fans are far more intelligent.
  • Honey badger don’t care.
  • Welp, our species is fucked.
  • The whole video isn’t great, but the first sixteen seconds are priceless.
  • TWEET OF THE WEEK: I really hope Stephen King’s Twitter feed doesn’t just confirm that he’s a creepy weirdo, but he’s certainly not off to a very good start. If you’re disappointed by King, I’m sure you can find something amusing here.
  • NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: You yell spitting llama, everybody says, “Huh? What?” You yell testicle-biting llama, we’ve got a panic on our hands. (HT: level5)