I’m getting old, so I can’t remember if I announced it here or on Twitter, but if you hadn’t heard yet, Jim Essian was hired away from the Cubs. You snooze, you lose, Epstein. He’ll be the manager of the Fort Worth Cats this upcoming season. (HT: MGRW) ROAD TRIP!

Your tips are as appreciated as an undefeated Cats season.

• Sure, Rickey is dumb, but he’s also pretty damn awesome. (HT: Pre)
• Jeffrey Loria is an astonishing piece of shit. I mean, the guy is like a super-villain.
• Thank you so much for your service, but you’re a goddamn idiot.
• Excuse me. I have- Something in my eye.
• It’s a little late, but why was Phil Connors stuck in a loop in Groundhog Day? The answer is always because of a woman.
• Scamera!
• You should support the Cyanide & Happiness Show Kickstarter.
• Yes, it’s a couple of people ruining your morning commute. Probably TDubbs.
• HJE is way closer than you’d expect to bloomberg.com.
• The punchline to this Harlem Shake video is worth it.
  
• TWEET OF THE WEEK: Find your own damn tweet with a bunch of current and former players’ Twitter handles.
• FEED READ OF THE WEEK: You Had One Job!

Have fun shoveling all day, folks. IT’S SNOWY.