Oh, internet. When I tweeted that the Cubs were attempting to get their starting staff as close to a 4.00 ERA without going under, it didn’t mean I don’t like the Edwin Jackson and Carlos Villanueva deals. In fact, I like them quite a bit. And I’d take a starting staff filled with 4.00 ERA guys for an entertaining season, just like I’d take eight position players who all hit .275. So, relax, internet. Not everything I say is mean.

Your tips are as appreciated as having to explain jokes.

• Edwin Jackson is good.
• Just wrap your mind around the fact that someone non-ironically spent time writing and recording this.
• The autocorrect sites are often fake, but that doesn’t mean some of them aren’t hilarious.
• If it’s difficult for you to read HJE in the bathroom, try these lifehacks!
• I wish the video of the baby-snatching eagle was real. But it’s not.
• No cheating on this Wes Anderson character infographic. We can’t ALL be Bill Murray.
• Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones! No more mystery!
• Does Google really do that? You probably have to try in a browser.
• “Bilabial consonant” sounds awesomely dirty.
• ‘Tis the season of giving, I suppose.
  
• Judge not one’s might by size alone. (HT: level5) THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID. (HT: Michael Scott)
• I swear I thought this list of best and worst media was upside-down. (HT: Ned Ryerson)
• This lady’s voice is super-annoying, but DAWWWWW.
  
• NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: Gross. (HT: level5)
• YOUR AWESOME MOVIE OF THE WEEK: Well played, Netflix.

If you’re traveling this weekend, travel safely. Happy holidays, humans. Only one more Roundup until 2013. Wow.