During the podcast, I think we covered everything from Fujikawa to Sveum getting shot IN THE FACE, so I won’t bore you with recapping the fact that the Cubs signed a Japanese closer and Robin Yount shot Dale Sveum IN THE FACE. Except for that recap right there. The Cubs also got Nate Schierholtz, which is almost as impossible to spell as Kyuji Fujikawa, and reportedly re-signed Ian Stewart, effectively blocking Luis Valbuena from his run at a Triple Crown. Oh, and they also got some reliever named Hector Rondon in the Rule 5 Draft. He’s no Lendy Castillo. THANK GOD.

Your tips are as appreciated as a 2013 roster of dudes I’ve never heard of.

• The case for Alfonso Soriano (and trading him).
• The lesson, kids, is if you’ve ever been a member of the Cubs, don’t go hunting.
• Just watching this sends chills down my spine. (HT: level5) I have a question. How the hell is the guy shooting from that angle?
• Dogs are man’s best friend. Man’s terrifyingly intelligent best friend. (HT: Ned Ryerson)
• In case our Netflix recommendations on the podcast aren’t enough for you, or if you never make it that far into the podcasts, here are 12 great sci-fi/fantasy movies to get you going. I disagree with Raiders of the Lost Ark being considered a fantasy movie, but seeing as how it’s the greatest movie of all time, I’ll allow it.
• Whether you love or hate “Call Me Maybe”, you have to admit that it’s made for some pretty funny parody videos. This one is the best. The people who jump right in bring so much joy to my heart. Try not to smile at least once, you cynical old bastard.
  
• When the hell is Bill Murray going to get his Lifetime Achievement Award?
• You’re the best, nature.
  
• NIGHTMARE FUEL OF THE WEEK: Good job, society.
• SITE OF THE WEEK: Bad Kids Jokes.
• YOUR AWESOME CLIP OF THE WEEK: Nickelback and Instagram. Two things that suck individually are pretty hilarious together.