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Based on my Twitter feed last night, a lot of you watched the announcement of the NL and AL MVPs. On a totally-unrelated note, I follow a lot of weird, white nerds on Twitter. In case you missed the results and have as much access to the internet as a common Muskboxer, Miguel Cabrera won the AL award, causing much screaming from the Trout supporters. I get it, but it’s not like Cabrera is not a goddamn great choice, too. Even better, Buster Posey won the NL award, causing much screaming through clenched gums from the great state of Missouri. Apparently, those delightful idiots actually thought that Yadier Molina was going to beat out Posey, Ryan Braun, and Andrew McCutchen. That’s adorable.

In other news, Aramis Ramirez finished 9th in the voting, and Alfonso Soriano got three votes, which landed him ahead of Bryce Harper on the balloting. Think Washington will take a straight-up swap? Only two of the three votes came from Chicago writers. Any guesses? I’m going to nominate GORDON WITTENMYER for one, since he doesn’t see color, homey, nor does he understand the game of baseball. Plus, he looks like exactly the kind of person who brags loudly over his phone at Starbucks about voting for the Green Party because “if enough of us do it, it WON’T be throwing our vote away!”

Your tips are as appreciated as the signing of Dioner Navarro ushering out the era of the awful Welington Castillo nickname “Beef Castle.” No, no. Don’t protest. It’s fucking stupid.

  • This is the best breakdown of the ludicrous Marlins trade I’ve seen. Loria really is a monster.
  • I don’t know exactly why ESPN did something cool, but they did.
  • D-III golf is serious business, apparently. (HT: Ned Ryerson) NSFW language, clearly.
  • But Guy Fieri is such a lovable cunt! (HT: DomerMQ)
  • This flowchart can help you pick your next book to read.
  • These pictures will ruin your conception of famous people.
  • As a mosquito target myself, WHY AM I ALWAYS UNDER ATTACK???
  • I’m no Matthew Inman, but this comic still resonates.
  • Here’s why I don’t hate ALL people. (HT: level5)
  • SITE OF THE WEEK: Windows 95 Tips.