What do you mean, you just show up?

If the Cubs’ march toward 100 losses or the White Sox’s inexplicable hanging-on to their first-place AL Central standing isn’t whetting your sports appetite this September, you’ll be happy to know that the Chicago Bears are back to kick off (LOL!) another season of American football this weekend! Fortunately for Bears fans, there is absolutely NO WAY they can lose 100 games this year!

Your tips are as appreciated as the Detroit Tigers GETTING THEIR SHIT TOGETHER AND WINNING THAT GODDAMN DIVISION.